PALM ENDER'S, AND LIFE'S OBSERVATIONS

No Sex until you finish that road.

2011-08-28T07:46:00.002+04:00

A recent news story from south America got me thinking, and to my regular readers with long memories, I have touched on the subject more than once, but would like to revisit this potential minefield, as its topical right now considering what has just happened in Columbia, where a number of Women denied to their husbands, boyfriends, and lovers, which in South America is likely to be one of the same, their conjugal rights..

Welcome to the crazy world of Johtomas.

T’is Saturday, 28/08/2011.

A small background introduction should be the order of the day before I expand on this topic in my own unique way.

The Colombian authorities agreed to comply with demands for road improvements - after hundreds of women went on a sex strike.

For 38 days, they denied their men sexual favors until a road that connects their small town to the rest of the country was paved. So let me get this right. These small town Gals decided en mass to keep their legs, mouths and every other available orifice firmly closed until their lazy coke snorting road worker husbands/boyfriends/lovers..(see above), put away their rolled up 1000 peso notes, wiped the coca away from over-sized moustaches, and reacquainted themselves with their trusty picks and shovels, and the interesting thing about it is..It fucking worked!!!

Now, I am not going to state categorically these measures could be successfully replicated the world over, but pussy power is not to be fucked with, excuse the pun, as its serious piece of real estate down there, and it holds the key to most things on this planet. But, and here lies the irony. Although this tactic worked in Columbia, and the Women got their wish, In North America I can’t see how this would work and here’s why.

American woman and pretty much all women are on a continuous sex strike from the moment the two year milestone of marriage passes, which is standard procedure for most married couples I believe, so it's very doubtful this kind of thing would ever work in New York, since American men have long ago grown immune to this tactic, and the reality is, they are fucking anything but their wives anyway, who are also giving it up to the tennis coaches, artists, gallery owners and the hunk at the local gym, so back at ya!!!

Perhaps, if married women actually started having sex with their husbands that would be the real shocker to change things in the world but I seriously doubt it.
But, that's also kinda doubtful anyway, since most American married woman, both North and South of the border have forgotten how to in the first place, as they are far to busy shopping or pampering themselves all fucking day, and the older they get, the more they pamper, with potions, creams, beauty treatments, witchcraft, etc. Even sacrificing small animals if it means a tighter skin and a firmer neck, which alas, always gives them away, unless you are Ann Robinson, or Sharon Osborne of course, who both look younger now than they did twenty years ago., But for every Sharon Osborne, there are a 100 old toads who are failing miserably to retain the philosophers stone of life, the elixir of youth, and for the majority, the show is over and should be grateful their husbands want to fuck them at all. I know ladies that men in their middle age are no better, well, the majority anyway and I actually concede that in fact, they are far inferior aesthetically than Women of the same age, who at least try and stay looking good and desirable.. Who for, is another debatable topic, but you can almost guarantee its not for the old man, who sits in his favourite chair, every evening after work, farting and dribbling as he falls asleep after a heavy pasta dish served up by the cheating wife, no, scrub that, the enslaved nanny, housemaid.

The withholding of sexual favours would certainly work if rolled out across the globe and sisters united in solidarity and decided as a collective to keep those legs firmly shut. The dynamic the world over works the same way and the interaction between all men and women of the world works the same way and this ploy really would be effective. I am talking, world peace, economic recovery, a real coming together (excuse that pun as well) Can you imagine our bent and corrupt politicians and world leaders who have mistresses in every port being denied their obligatory blow job every time they come to town unless they contributed in some way to ending poverty or famine. I would wager, if this were the case Africa would have an obesity problem within 2 years as sex crazed mad men with balls the size of avocados would be running around like headless chickens making sure Tanzania, Zambia, Ethiopia and all had a plethora of McDonalds, Burger Kings and even the good old colonel and his secret recipe on every street corner. That is how predictable the male of the species is, which in comparison, is polar to the complexities and sheer cunning of the female of the species..

Women love marriage for good reason, other than the security and a large payout for services rendered if she does decide to up sticks and leave It may start out with purity and love, but that quickly dissipates it would seem.
As any smart woman will tell you, sex is a weapon that is best used as a promise and provided sparingly..

A standard tactic of many women I know is to use sex to achieve their indulgences, and if they can ever get their indulgences without having to actually use the sex (merely promise it) then they are laughing all the way to their new handbag or shiny new 4x 4 Chelsea tractor without having to actually deliver ,although sex once a fortnight I hear is good for the skin, a Woman I know well told me recently. (Now that’s what I call real love and passion.lol).I know her husband too and he told me his wife is so cold sexually, when she turns on the heater in her car seat, her crotch steams up and that was being kind.

The truth is, a great majority of marriages have become sexless for a multitude of reasons which to be honest we are all brutally aware of, and more often than not the marriage is a sham, a fraud, which is kept alive for the purpose of the childrens happiness, or a society which demands, they stay within the confides of a loveless existence because the alternative of being a social outcast or a pariah is more painful for the fragile ego than the pain felt living with someone you cant bare to touch any longer which is so fucked up, it belies belief, and To my Friend In Australia, ( you know who you are) It took real guts and balls to take that step, but un like most who would rather stay within an unhappy marriage for the kids and everyone else aside from yourself, you realized it had to be done and could no longer live in denial and You are an amazing woman with compassion and empathy and everything is going to work out beautifully and once again you will be able to fly from the confides of that metaphorical cage which has no bars any longer.

I will leave you with a humorous story which has huge relevance to this blog and although funny , like any joke, it’s just the truth dressed up in a comical delivery system.. I could have written 1000’s of words with examples and comical quips left right and centre to highlight the sex as a weapon theme, but decided not to as i like to keep these blogs under 1500 words if possible...

A Woman come home one evening and finds her husband

making love to a very attractive young woman.

The wife was VERY upset!

'You are a disrespectful fucking arsehole’’ she cried.

'How dare you do this to me, your unfaithful wife;) and the mother of your children!

I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away and half of your wealth, although I met you skint.

To this he replied: 'Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead', she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll ever say to me!'

So he began 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on more weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments and loved them.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, which I bought,but don't wear because you say they are too tight which is true as you ate like a pig when you were pregnant and now you are to lazy to lose it.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste apparently and they are to degrading.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair just like them.'

He took a quick breath and continued: 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said

''Please....do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

Y QUE MIS AMIGOS SON LA VERDAD

AS THEY SAY IN SOUTH AMERICA

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

ONE FIST OR TWO??????

2011-08-25T03:32:00.003+04:00

Let me start by clearly stating that this particular blog will be spattered with a few humorous metaphors which will make my loyal readers squeal with delight, but in the main, this is a blog which needs to be taken seriously, if freedom, liberties and any type of prosperous future is to be enjoyed, and for those who are now rolling their eyes and muttering into their low fat skinny mocha-chinos there is nothing that lil ol me can do about it, then we are royally screwed, as its this apathetic attitude which is the greatest weapon of the Globalists, and you may think that appearing in a socialite magazine in a designer frock is the pinnacle of one’s existence so you can enjoy the short lived envy or praise from your equally insular social group defines your identity, but my friends, that is just ancillary nonsense, and you'd better get with the programme fast, if you want your children to enjoy any type of freedom whatsoever, so if you do it for anyone, do it for their future, the next generation who deserve civil liberties and God given rights of freedom of choice and free speech..

T'is Thursday, The 24th of August

The information war continues unabated, and we need to use the platform they created for their own ends against them, which of course is the internet. Social networking sites have become the bane of the Illuminati's existence as the free sharing of info has contributed to a new age of awareness which they will attempt to close down in the very near future, and its of paramount importance this is never allowed to happen, which will be a fight in itself as the blind public are led to the slaughter so easily and willing, I fear for this medium of exchange, I really do..

The sheeple have now become farmyard fodder. We walk, bovinesque into the slaughter house voluntarily as the Puppeteers tell us, ''Don't go out there in the fields, free to roam, there are cows out there trained by Al Queda roaming around who will terrorize and blow your udders off, so in you go to the industrial meat grinder and everything will be alright, resistance is futile, and you will be assimilated into borged beings under our control, before you can say Obama is a terrorist.''... And the scary thing is, in you go to get mangled and all without any type of self evaluation or opposition of what's right in front of your fucking noses...

At the head of the table, or so it would appear to the unknowing masses sits the lyrical laureate, the bank and big corporation owned coconut/puppet,Osama Borat Hussein ( I think that's his name;). The same man who recently cracked jokes during his Shite house correspondents dinner and was lauded by his army of cyborg supporters who are on his payroll, whilst 48 million Americans are eating cold soup via food stamps and sleeping in doorway.

Barack Obama for the record is the worst president in American History and he CONTINUES to make a mockery of the American people and his presidency.( Well, the truth is, he has no fucking influence whatsoever on any type of proceedings, and is merely an employee of wall street). There was no mention of the American dollar hitting a all time low this past week or the unofficial unemployment close to 20% in his speech to the correspondents, nope, it was all fun and games and jokes for the pre selected fraudulent Puppet..

The sleight of hand trickery Osama uses to take the spotlight off of his horrible presidency, is making the out of work American’s realize that the once “American dream” is finally dead. Osama has spent two years in office doing absolutely nothing but giving empty speeches and travelling the world, tongue fucking foreign leaders back doughnuts in a futile attempt to prop up the modern day Roman empire, and we are all aware of what happened to those loin cloth wearing barbarians as Rome burned

You will never hear President Barack Hussein Obama AKA the new world order puppet, give a straight answer on why the gas prices are going through the roof or the economic collapse of the USA is now inevitable and irreconcilable

His popularity has now dived to an all time low, and this uncle Tom, chicken rice and pea eating bounty bar will be cast aside without remorse and replaced with god forbid Sarah, ‘’my IQ is below room temperature’’ Palin, or any other puppet in chief who will tow the line and deliver the agenda written in the shadows by the real power who use pre selected politicians to do their bidding and are never elected by the farcical democratic voting process.

(IF YOU ARE A BELIEVER IN THE SUPPOSED DEMOCRATIC VOTING PROCESS, I HAVE A LOVELY CONDO ON THE BEACH NEAR THE HELMAND PROVINCE FOR SALE.IF INTERESTED DROP ME A LINE)...

We have corrupt politicians and police forces running amok who have helped install this totalitarian fascist dictatorship which has been planned for centuries, that's right, centuries and the end game for these fuck wits is clearly in sight if we don't oppose it now.

My whole life I have had this scary intuition which forecasts upcoming events, both positive and negative, and let me tell you, my intuition is going crazy right now, and something huge, massive is going to happen.. I don't know what, but my spider senses are off the charts now and we are looking down the barrel of a very destructive weapon, and I do not spout this info freely to impress those that have not the insight to recognize pure evil, which has been literally invited into your living rooms by the way of slick snake oil salesmen who are employed solely to do the bidding of the wall street bankers and corporate America, but I do it for self preservation and for humanity who need to know this nefarious agenda before we are staring right into the eyes of an Orwellian nightmare we ourselves facilitated through our own ignorance and insulated lives.

Wake the fuck up and oppose this tyrannical regime or get used to taking it right in the back door, two fists at a time..

The lunatics have truly taken over the asylum, and the mad hatters are cackling like deranged hyenas as the cartoon cast below them run around like keystone cops who in turn chase the headless chickens, which are the sheeple, into passive submission. The United States epitomizes the sheer stupidity of mankind right now, as they are spoon fed complete fucking bullshit by the globalist owned media, and they eat that shit up like a fat fuck in an ice cream parlour.

The level of corruption is nothing less than staggering, and one has to only look at Libya for a beautiful example of doing a deal with the devil. In Reuters today, they admit that they have aided AL Qaeda operatives to attack Libyan government forces and to over throw Gaddafi.. These fucking US funded terrorists have openly admitted that yes, we have attacked and killed Americans, and we will do again, but first, we will take care of Mr Gaddafi for you.

Am I living in the fucking twilight zone here.. I know the Secret government agencies fund illegal wars and coup de tats through the illegal trade of narcotics. That's right, the CIA, NSA, MI5 among others, are the biggest drug dealers on this planet and the stupid fucking American public look to these spooks for redemption and saviour. I am sure if Obama told you that Charles Manson has started a baby and young child sitting service, you would be scribbling down the 800 number faster than Linford Christie making good his escape after wandering into a KKK convention by mistake.

How long are you going to put your faith in the suicide bankers, whose ethos is pure greed and corruption headed up by the deeply satanic anything but Federal reserve who are comparable to serial arsonists and are now asking congress for a box of matches and a tanker full or gasoline, and the fucking morons on the payroll on Capitol hill are asking.''Who do we make the cheque payable to!!''

We need to draw a line in the sand, right now and no longer accept being arse fucked by a small group of very disturbed megalomaniacs, whose sole intention is to depopulate this wonderful planet via a plethora of unsavoury vehicles, including a third world war, which will involve China, a eugenics movement via our food and water plus an attack on our children's health via vaccination programmes, and as a father myself who loves his daughter very much, this sickens me to my stomach..... This is your final wake up call.... Freedom or tyranny?? What’s it going to be?

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

A letter to parents of...

2011-08-16T03:38:00.003+04:00

T'is Tuesday, 16/08/2011

GREETINGS.

Re.. About your mendacious son.

Although this letter could easily be targeted at the parents of any government supremo in charge today,and in any country on this fucked up planet,for arguments sake, it will be marked for the attention of David, ''I sold my soul to Faust''Camerons parents.

Why did you never take the time to teach your child basic morality?

As a young man, he was in a gang that regularly smashed up private
property. We know that you were absent parents who left your child to be
brought up by a school rather than taking responsibility for his
behaviour yourselves. The fact that he became a delinquent with no sense
of respect for the property of others can only reflect that fact that
you are terrible, lazy human beings who failed even in teaching your
children the difference between right and wrong. I can only assume that
his contempt for the small business owners of Oxford is indicative of
his wider values and being a member of the Bullingdon club further removed your lying son from the reality of life and provided the platform to where he sits now.

Even worse, your neglect led him to fall in with a bad crowd.

There’s Michael Gove, whose wet-lipped rage was palpable on Newsnight
last night. This is the Michael Gove who confused one of his houses with
another of his houses in order to avail himself of £7,000 of the
taxpayers’ money to which he was not entitled (or £13,000, depending on
which house you think was which).

Or Hazel Blears, who was interviewed in full bristling peahen mode recently.
She once forgot which house she lived in, and
benefited to the tune of £18,000. At the time she said it would take her
reputation years to recover. Unfortunately not, and is back where she once was before this criminal debacle.

But, of course, this is different. This is just understandable confusion
over the rules of how many houses you are meant to have as an MP. This
doesn’t show the naked greed of people stealing plasma tellies which by the way i am not condoning, but making a well needed comparison with a healthy dose of realism thrown into the mix.

Unless you’re Gerald Kaufman, who broke parliamentary rules to get
£8,000 worth of 40-inch, flat screen, Bang and Olufsen TV out of the
taxpayer.

Or Ed Vaizey, who got £2,000 in antique furniture ‘delivered to the
wrong address’.( Should have said,c/o, Val Doonican) Which is fortunate, because had that been the address
they were intended for, that would have been fraud, Ummmm

Or Jeremy Hunt, who broke the rules to the tune of almost £20,000 on one
property and £2,000 on another. But it’s all right, because he agreed
to pay half of the money back. Not the full amount, it would be absurd
to expect him to pay back the entire sum that he took and to which he
was not entitled. No, we’ll settle for half. And, as in any other field,
what might have been considered embezzlement of £22,000 is overlooked.
We know, after all, that David Cameron likes to give people second
chances.

Fortunately, we have the Met Police to look after us. We’ll ignore the
fact that two of its senior officers have had to resign in the last six
weeks amid suspicions of widespread corruption within the force and that half the force are as bent as an Arabs dagger.

We’ll ignore Andy Hayman, who went for champagne dinners with those he
was meant to be investigating, and then joined the company on leaving
the Met, well if you cant beat them join them I suppose

Of course, Mr and Mrs Cameron, your son is right. There are parts of
society that are not just broken, they are sick. Riddled with disease
from top to bottom, and that's just your sons house at number 10.

Just let me be clear about this Mr and Mrs C,
every sentence your son utters,has been
looted from Tony Blair, who by the way, makes your own son look like mother Theresa herself and should be hanging by his balls outside the Hague for the torture and destruction of lives of 100's of 1000's of innocent lives.. I am not justifying or minimising in any way what
has been done by the looters over the last few nights. What I am doing,
however, is expressing shock and dismay that your son and his friends
feel themselves in any way to be guardians of morality in this country when they play handball in gentleman's clubs with banking elitists which have bankrupted this country and have been the catalyst for the social unrest we are only seeing the beginning of..

You should be truly ashamed like any other parents, watching these habitual liars and power hungry fuck wits lie and cheat and create fear and chaos through out the World, whilst pretending to be alarmed, upset and affected by the behavior of these fucking toe rags who should be all marooned on an island by the way, with very hungry wildlife that has not been fed for a fortnight.

Can they really, as 650 people who have shown themselves to be venal
pygmies, moral dwarves at every opportunity over the last 20 years,
bleat at others about ‘criminality’. Those who decided that when they
broke the rules (the rules they themselves set) they, on the whole
wouldn’t face the consequences of their actions? Of course not, because in their vulgar arrogance they believe themselves above the law and untouchable, but this will change as the reigns of power are decimated and the fabric of their ruling shroud unravels quicker than your son removing his underpants in front of a 1000 dollar a night Russian whore, paid for of course by the state and claimed legitimately as taxable expenditure.. ( Keeping up the Anglo,Ruski relationship is vital of course)Putin really does have the best Hookers, doesn't he.

Are they really surprised that this country’s culture is swamped in
greed, in the acquisition of material things, in a lust for consumer
goods of the most base kind? Really?

Let’s have a think back: cash-for-questions; Bernie Ecclestone;
cash-for-access; Mandelson’s mortgage; the Hinduja passports; Blunkett’s
alleged insider trading (and, by the way, when someone has had to
resign in disgrace twice can we stop having them on television as a
commentator, please?); the meetings on the yachts of oligarchs; the
drafting of the Digital Economy Act with Lucian Grange; Byers’, Hewitt’s
& Hoon’s desperation to prostitute themselves and their positions;
the fact that Andrew Lansley (in charge of NHS reforms) has a wife who
gives lobbying advice to the very companies hoping to benefit from the
NHS reforms. And that list didn’t even take me very long to think of and would be here all night if highlighting the blatant illegality of our governing bodies, and its fucking bent members..

Our politicians, like the majority are for sale and they do not care who knows it.

Oh yes, and then there’s the expenses thing. Widescale abuse of the very
systems they designed, almost all of them grasping what they could
while they remained MPs, to build their nest egg for the future at the
public’s expense. They even now whine on Twitter about having their
expenses claims for getting back to Parliament while much of the country
is on fire subject to any examination. True public servants.

The last few days have revealed some truths, and some heartening truths.

The fact that local communities came together to keep their neighbourhoods
safe when the police failed is heartening. The fact that there were
peace vigils being organised (even as the police tried to dissuade
people) is heartening.

A peaceful protest was the last thing your son wanted, and his Zionist paymasters made sure Agent Provocateurs would keep the violence bubbling along nicely to justify whats to come, which is further erosion of our civil liberties and freedoms, with an internet kill switch option to firewall off vast swathes on info, not to protect the innocent from these little turds, hell bent on destruction, but to quell the emotional uprising, and awakening of consciousness of the masses.

There is hope for this country and the World as we approach 2012 and the massive changes it will bring.But we must stop looking upwards for it.
The politicians are the ones leading the charge into the gutter and they need removing from their ivory towers.

David Cameron was entirely right when he said: “It is a complete lack of
responsibility in parts of our society, people allowed to think that
the world owes them something, that their rights outweigh their
responsibilities, and that their actions do not have consequences.” Don't make me fucking laugh with that bullshit. Responsibility?? I doubt you can spell the word. Try learning these words first Cameron. Empathy, care, compassion, love, truth, and when you have grasped the true meaning of those, I'll send 5 more over to you..

GOVERNMENT IS A FUCKING JOKE AND THE SOONER THEIR POWER IS REMOVED THE SOONER HUMANITY CAN ASPIRE TO A NEW AGE.

And I blame the parents.

The things you see it at 37000 feet..

2011-08-10T16:19:00.002+04:00

Greetings.. It's been a while hasn't it, but I am still very much alive, and the stories of my demise have been wildly exaggerated, so don't believe the hype as its all an illusion anyway.

T'is the 10th of August, 2011......

As i sit on here on easy jet flying to Munich, which in fact is my first trip the father land, I can’t help thinking about the cultural differences between us sledgehammer Brits and the efficiency of the Germans,.. . They are often accused, mostly by the Brits of course that they are far too literal about things, which they contest most vehemently , although any nation whose word for Gloves is Hand schuen which literally means ‘’Hand shoes’’ have not a leg to stand on, or a hand schuen for that matter..

Being literal of course is not the sole right of the Germans, as the Yanks, who i believe are twinned with good ol Germany suffer from the same affliction, and to be honest, my closest girlfriend on this planet, Miss Danielle, a born and bred Auzzie, with a brain the size of a Dwarf star,(And to save you googling that D, it’s fucking huge, and it’s a compliment. The irony, lol.. ), is the most literal person on this planet, period, and I have spent many hours holding my ribs atliteral misunderstandings which to her credit, she laughs at just as hard.. .

Anyway, like I said, Observing people at close quarters is a wonderful way to pass 90 minutes on a cramped plane, and people watching is what I do best, sowill highlight now for you my thoughts as we cruise the skies at 37,000 feet.. ..

The first glaringly obvious difference I can deduct from this budget flight on its way to Munich compared with many others I have taken to Europe is this. The Germans are nowhere near as fat as the Brits, or certainly not our American cousins, who barely manage to squeeze a singular fat arse cheek into seats which are made solely for those who possess snake hips, and watching these overweight primates force their fat arses into seats made for pre pubescent Ethiopians is comedy gold.

Having said that, what the Germans lack in waist circumference, they make up in Head size. I kid you not; they are more akin to giant water melons than Heads, although finding a sense of humour stuck in that enormous suede is the definition of futility, although, after shortdeliberation, I think I prefer the droll krauts to the moronic three British stooges who seem to find shouting ‘’Vorsprung Durk Technic’’ at the German air hostess every time she passes by, the epitome of high brow humour... For the record, it means, ‘’Fuck you BMW’’, created by an ad agency working for Audi I believe. But don’t quote me..

To my immediate right sit an American couple, who could be part of the 25% who are ancestrally tied to the Father land, or they could be part of the other 75%, who are Zionist Jews. Matters not to be honest, but if i had to hazard a guess , I would go with the yarmulke and the missing 4 skin, but one thing’s for sure, they love the sound of their own voices as they plan their trip, which is intriguing considering 90% of Americans are unaware that the World extends past Miami, and that the Earth is indeed round, so I applaud them at least for leaving that fascist dictatorship, even for a day.

But on closer inspection, Germany and America have plenty in common. They both love Benny hill, Mr Bean, and Hot dogs the size of cricket pitches, and who else would decorate their homes with tangerine walls ,purple carpets, bright green three piece suites, and travel with suitcases made from grannies old carpet? Well apart from mate Peanut, who lives in Dubai, only the Germans or the Yanks, who also, by the way think they live in democratic free countries, but are in fact cocooned in enough gaffer tape through bureaucracy to mummify Egypt, twice over.
One takes it in the Arseshiftz from that former stunning model Merkel, and the others from a lying coconut who could not lie in bed straight. Twinned countries indeed..

As we are on the subject of idiosyncratic traits of the inhabitants of differing countries, I came across a very interesting fact whilst reading the in flight magazine. A recent poll taken highlighted the most miserable people who were most unhappy with their lot, and I was gob smacked at the country that came top of the tree, or most unhappy with their existence... I was expecting a raft of countries with genuine gripes, like Afghanistan, whose inhabitants are happy if they wake up in a bed which still resides in the same post code as their homes, or they reach down on waking and smile as their left leg is still attached to their right..
Or a town i visited in Zambia where abstract poverty was running at 93% and the only entertainment was a table tennis table with two old broken frying pans for bats and a ball that has been lost years ago, but still seemed to be of interest to the poor locals,and where the only water falls from the tears of the suffering.Icould go on highlighting genuine reasons for the poor, suffering souls of a plethora of countries, but wont bore you with my save the children rhetoric and get to the point..

The least happy country and its miserable inhabitants, is,... ITALY!!!!!!!. That is not a typo, read that again, ITALY.!!!.. Ok we know it has its problems, but the most unhappy? It would be a start if they took greater notice of where they were going, rather than attempting to look good, and staring in shop windows, not at the designer clothes, which hang off them anyway, but at themselves all fucking day seems a gigantic waste of time.

This next fact, and of this you can be sure, and I really sympathize. That trophy model wife you married in her teens will not last long, and before you know it,you will wake up one morning long before her 28th birthday, and she will have turned into her mother of 64 and weighing 85 kilos, with the once svelte black dress being replaced by a black sack which hides a set of tits which touches her knees.(One of life's unexplained phenomena)

Another problem I can sympathize with is that kids are not allowed to leave home until 72, and are still getting smacked around the head on a daily basis by the fascist loving father who still thinks the God father was real, and a shrine to Tony Montana, (aka scar face)sits proudly next to a statue of the Virgin Mary holding her baby of some sex, but for the life of me i could not tell you which..

We understand you have a corrupt paedophile who uses black boot polish on his nut to disguise his lack of follicles on his dishonest dome running your country, and he wont get out of bed unless he gets a back hander, but then again, the whole country don't either...

And I really feel for the guys who leave their homes in Naples fully dressed, and return most evenings semi naked as the Napolitano’s have literally removed their shirts from their backs, and walking into Switzerland to post your letters is the only way of guaranteeing its arrival must get awfully fucking tiring, but you have clothes, ample water, food(See Former stunning wife, who now resembles Susan Boyle), shelter, decent medical facilities, roads, blah blah blah, so to claim to be the most unhappy nation on Earth is fucking scandalous, but that’s what the Italians do best. Moan, Moan, and moan some more....I blame the pope personally!!!.

Anyway, talking of cultural stereotyping, the plane is now landed and you should see the carnage unfolding before my eyes.. The Germans are off their arses faster than a James Bond villain in an ejector seat from an Aston Martin , and there are beach towels and Hawaiian tropic suntan lotion fucking everywhere, as they jostle for position, but the funny thing is, nearest beach is 60 miles away... I thank my Old Granddad for defeating the Luftwaffe single handed with nothing more than a catapult and a box cutter, or I myself might be now throwing my larger than normal head around whilst reserving an aisle seat with an 8ft beach towel.

73% of a 187,457 people asked agreed with the above findings, whilst 13% of the remaining 16,943 reserved the right to comment, which loosely means that 8.9% of the above is made up according to a survey taken by just 15 Lesbians...

STRANGE OLD WORLD WE LIVE IN....

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.....

2011-02-19T05:07:00.005+04:00

First up, I am happy that the last blog had such a good response, and that the material, for most was comical and spiritual enough for the tree huggers to get moist over, so for that I thank you all. You see, I am an equal opportunity abuser and appeaser in equal and unbiased measures.

Now this brings me to today's blog and what I have been thinking lately, and age once again found its way into my frontal lobe this afternoon as I was attending a birthday party of a man so old, the candles cost more than the cake and we had to call Red Adair to put them out for fear of the house going up in smoke.. and I made an interesting correlation between this blog material and last weeks. I got to thinking that age does not and cannot protect you from LOVE, but, LOVE will certainly protect you from age, and for those that find that too deep or profound, or new age nonsense, then may I suggest ''Americas got talent'' has just started where a man performing deep throat, balls and all on himself is available for your viewing pleasure. I knew the David shuttleHoff could do that!!! Way to go Hoff... and indeed that's a special talent, and in fact could well render the female of the specie obsolete. Although my brother can also do that, but stays married, so maybe just a myth??

Joking aside, the L word needs no explanation and if you think the perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M after a vat of cheap alcohol and copious amounts of class 'A' cut to shit crap, then again, Hoff is just about to give himself a happy ending, so I bid ye farewell to you guys as well..... For those who need no explanation for life's only truth then read on........

T'IS THE 19TH OF FEB..2011

Are happiness, positivity and love interconnected?

Well, I certainly think so, and the above is the true holy trinity, for me anyway, and as this is my vehicle to express such thoughts, then express I will. How can one over exaggerate the importance of happiness. Without it, life sure becomes one long struggle, and the moment man loses touch with it, he is no longer alive and has for all intent and purposes become a breathing corpse. Its our sole aim and objective and its within all of us, but sadly a vast amount of poor sods have been disconnected from this reality and the pursuit of happiness has become the elusive hunt for the holy grail, because the word itself has been lost in translation as we ascertain our existence with material pleasures which have no depth. Man mistakes pleasure for happiness continually and they are a different breed of animal.

OK I get excited like anyone else with the thrill of driving at warp speed in a Ferrari, or riding a roller coaster for the first time, but like all Pleasures, the thrill is short lived, and we are back to earth with a bump as reality bites and we realize that 5 Min's of fun is just that, a blink of an eye, whereas true happiness arises from somewhere else, from the enjoyment of one's self, deep within the core of our existence, and self love is vital, for you cannot love others without first loving yourself, and this is has no correlation with ego based love, but an appreciation of who we are..from best friends who we genuinely want the best for and love without conditions, and the treasured conversations of a few select enlightened souls who share the same frequency and dimension without effort or struggle, but shine , like beacons as they radiate pure love for one another, and the ironic thing about it all is the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except they just are so!! and ironically again those who continually seek it, miss it by a country mile and those who constantly discuss it, lack it also..( SO THIS WILL BE ONE AND ONLY BLOG ON THE MATTER, BEFORE YOU SMART ARSES POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS).

Happiness is not a pursuit, its a birth rite, and if you pursue it you'll never find it and being happy is never stopping to think if you are or not!.Just by being an empathetic soul, with love and compassion in your hearts and doing good for others you will find happiness running after you, and the universe is a wily old fox and knows very well the difference between giving with love and without conditions, and giving to receive, which is truly worlds apart!!

Happiness is cat like and strangely enough can be applied to many Women as well. Try coaxing or calling either of them, or bothering either and they are likely to /will avoid you like a dose of the clap, or worse !"but pay them no attention and go about your business, content and confident in yourself, you'll find them both jumping into your lap, and dry humping your legs. Getting the picture????Don't waste your time searching or convincing yourself you are indeed happy, or spend countless hours comparing this or other moments in the past with the present, which you cannot enjoy because you then find you are comparing them to probable future events which have yet to happen.Its all nonsense.,..The now is the only thing that you should be living in and allow all else to happen. This wonderful planet we inhabit is us and we are her like a giant looking glass which gives back to every person the reflection of their own face and thoughts.Frown at it and she will turn sourly on you, but laugh with her, love with her and she truly becomes a beautiful companion. Be loving, be kind, treat others as you yourself like to be treated, and the world becomes what you are.

There is no magic station where one attempts to get off, but its a manner of constant travel without a definitive destination, so enjoy the scenery on this momentous, perpetual journey and let it happen, and stop bloody questioning this state of consciousness.Its in our blood to be suspicious of happiness, because we are caught up in this perceived illusion that has been created for us, which is based on control and manipulation of our minds, which is a problem in itself, as the mind will always detract you from whats real, and will lead you away from what really is real..

We spend our lives craving control and to possess and keep forever things which are essentially impermanent. This leads only to frustration, and the refusal to let go of this false desire is one of the immediate causes of personal suffering, and those who resist the waves are swept away, but he who bends and allows himself to let go will become part of the tide as he is picked up atop of the wave and carried to a higher plane.

The unknown is also a vehicle for great unhappiness and worry. It sends people scurrying around, chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, hate, love, or the perception of it. Unknown is what it is, accept that, and its plain sailing... Stop trying to control and let it happen. Life is not a spread sheet with theories and complex algorithms.Love will guide you, and its the poetry of the senses and we are all born for loving, its our principle of existence and take it away or neglect or deny it and our earth becomes a tomb.

My life has apparently no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out, and those who tell me this are rich, lost and emotional retards whose emotional intelligence would rival that of a rocking chair, whose characteristics are all shallow, and meaningless, talking of revenge and pay back and the next million pound deal at the expense of someone else.. I thought it was only Women who pretend to forgive a man, but then reheat his sins for breakfast every fucking morning....lol... Nope, we men are very apt at the resentment, which is akin to drinking poison and waiting for you enemy to die. Pretty pointless hey??Or another way to describe it is to grasp a hot coal with the intent of throwing at someone else, knowing only you will end up getting burned..

Happiness.. What am I doing right??... Well they say a man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late!! and he has done half his dough as he realizes that decision making wasn't the smartest.

So to recap, and joking aside once again. love and happiness are intrinsically linked, and we know by now when I say love, I do not mean attachment, nor possession of another, but unconditional and pure, like a parent has for their son or daughter and the heart that has truly loved like this will never forget the only real thing that exists , and its the most powerful force in the universe. Ok it will break your heart at times, and render you vulnerable as that organ goes walk about outside your body without a safety net, but you are alive, and you know whats real and what is just an act.. There is a galaxy of difference of thinking and knowing you are both happy and in love and in turn loved back.. Its that which will save humanity and unite all as one and its coming, this age of Aquarius, the knowing age is hurtling towards us, so let her in and embrace each other and start living for today displaying care and kindness for all sentient beings, and let go of those false emotions which the mind construct has created for you.. The bags, the cars, the clothes, the jewelery, the housemaids, nannies and all other ancillary noise, They are just illusions of necessity which you believe essential in the pursuit of happiness..WRONG!! These are egoic possessions which give you a false sense of power, but its just that.. A false sense.

Right, enough for today, as this topic could fill, and it does, whole libraries.

In the immortal words of Vinnie Jones///''Its been emotional''

Now, for today's observation and a little light hearted humor.

Observation 1..

I fucking hate banks and what they stand for and how they operate, and can sum up very easily what they do. A bank is an institution who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain which in a nutshell is the standard modus operandi, nuff said about these greedy parasites.

Observation 2..

A recent survey I read, stated that the average person's greatest fear after telling the wife she's looking old in that dress, or to keep the light off when you are doing her from behind, is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and wax lyrical about the poor bastard lying as stiff as my morning glory in that 6ft pine box???? That's odd wouldn't you say.

Observation 3..

We as a family and by that I mean my blood family are recognized for a few skills, and one of them is the ability to dance, and I put it down to this. Growing up in a small 3 bed house with one bathroom and 8 thirsty people fighting for the throne, You learn to dance, or piss your pants, one of the two...

Observation 4..

Ever wonder about people who spend £2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward... E.V.I.A.N Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

''MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU''.

Ageism and Humour ...

2011-01-26T20:54:00.004+04:00

Sat alone last week i contemplated writing a blog on the ever increasing shift in consciousness which has enveloped the planet and the awakening from this deep slumber which has kept humanity firmly entrenched within this emotional prison without bars, five sense reality, which resonates on such a narrow frequency, and was actually excited about explaining the levels of differing dimensions which surround us, but are unable to tune into, due to the dense frequency of this illusionary reality we perceive as fact.

But, I turned the TV on and Madonna was cavorting about the stage in a very revealing pair of shorts and decided to have a butchers.( Hows that for polarity).

With me in the room was my girlfriend and two of her Latvian hotties who are staying with me for a week, plus a couple more friends whose company i enjoy immensely.

Anyway, whilst having a good look at Madge simulating various positions of the Karma Sutra, one of my friends stated, as the iconic sex symbol dropped into side splits and a very tidy camels toe seemed to be on display; ''Really, she should know better at her age!!''

''Better what'?' I replied, which started an in depth, and often hilarious debate about age, and Ageism, and how we live in an age obsessed culture.

Greetings, T'is the 26th of January, 2011.

Before I continue, may I express in defence of Madonna and her over sized genitalia, there is nothing wrong with as Borat so eloquently stated, having ''A sleeve of Wizard'', and to be honest, I rather enjoy Merlin's cloak wrapped around my ears on a cold winters night, so to all those Women out there who are concerned with getting a snip and a tuck down there, DON'T!!. It's like slapping God in the face and you don't want to piss the all knowing all seeing omnipotent MYTHICAL creature up there playing his harp and stroking his wand...

So, old is the new young, and growing old disgracefully has to be the way forward. Well it is for me, and remaining Peter Panesque is the elixir of youth, well, that and laughter, which as we all know is the best medicine ever made, complimented by small doses of growth hormone, but that's another story.

We are, as a society consumed with age, and its not because I am now just entering my fourth decade why I have chosen to highlight this fact, I have always wondered why this strange phenomena exists. Why the fuck does it matter, unless you are a cheese or a wine? How old would we be if we had no birth records or passports to remind us? Exactly, ageless. I think this obsession with age and the secrecy which surrounds it comes from the ego and fragile insecurities of the female. Think about it.

Consumed with how many years they have existed, and are incapable of telling the truth once past 37. If you really want to know how old a Woman is, ask her sister in law, ;) and the years that she subtracts are never lost, they are added to the ages of other Women, i kid you not...( Thirty is a nice age for a Woman.Especially if she happens to be 42).

Oscar Wilde once stated.'' Never trust a woman who tells you her real age, a woman who does would tell anything''. An amusing statement agreed, but Surely Old Oscar was to busy receiving large portions of gentleman sausage to have taken note of such profound thoughts...

I have a more basal concept than Oscar W. Most women are as old as they look before breakfast, and I know plenty who look great at dusk and with the light behind them and the dimmer switch turned way down low..... :)

Ladies, I know this is unfair, but we males just seem to age better, or is it again society has tricked us into believing we do. Unlike yourselves, the three ages of man are, youth, middle age, and ''You're looking wonderful!!''

opposed to the three ages of Women which are, Babe, middle aged bored housewife, and driving Miss Daisy.. Don't shoot the messenger here, I am just telling it as it is and for the record i don't agree with all of it, only 99.95%

Ladies, fight it all you want, and I don't care if your plastic surgeon is top of your Xmas card list and you swap flirty texts with him.. For all the advancement in medicine, there is no cure for the common birthday..

I know 1000's of women, and age to them is like Kryptonite to Superman and it shouldn't be like this. I love Women in the forties as long as they look in their thirties, so don't panic, its all good.

Joking aside, we are obsessed with numbers. Every newspaper article describes in detail the age of things and are pointlessly attached to all and sundry.

Mr Joe Blow 43 with his daughter Tiffany,9 were chasing a rabbit, 2 when they tripped over a root of a tree 126, and both received 7 stitches, performed by a young nurse,19 with only 6 months experience.

you see, ingrained into our psyche. It's almost like being punished for a crime you did not commit, and no one escapes. It will eventually happen to every single occupant who checks out from this mortal coil barring a premature demise.Therefore

we should all revere age and respect it, like other cultures do. The Japanese for instance mend broken objects by filling in the cracks with gold because they believe that when somethings suffered damage and has a history

it becomes more valuable and beautiful.Any society that fails to recognise this and does not learn to value its older citizens is plainly off their fucking rockers!!.We are all getting older, so ageism is like Turkeys voting for Christmas, think about it.

It's our own ignorance and fear which is the root cause. A dread of our own deterioration and mortality adds to the fears and revulsion of old people who are constant reminders of the inevitability which is unavoidable.Maybe that why suicide rates among the middle aged is on the increase, and dying young and leaving a good looking corpse is the reasoning behind it.

Role model celebrities do nothing to ease the situation either, nor a society obsessed with physical beauty and a media which pays no credence to the real beauty of the soul within a person.

None fear the ageing process more than celebrities or wannabe socialites whose whole social standing depends on the misconstrued perception of themselves, seen through the eyes of others. Its bullshit, without substance or merits, but never the less the shallow and empty just roll along, not truly understanding the nature of who we truly are at our source, and that this borrowed vehicle we call a body and skin stretched over a skeleton will soon be a distant memory, and back to dust we go from whence we came.. And then what. A vacuous space and a young soul that must come back again to evolve and grow and learn the importance of being, and not just existing in this illusory state of consciousness.

I have to laugh when I see today's celebrities paying collagen enhanced lip service to growing old gracefully but then hot foot it to their plastic surgeon to be nipped and tucked and liposuctioned within an inch of their lives before appearing on Oprah to share their sordid tales of sex and drug addictions, multiple marriages and partners and how many bottles of fine champagne they can bathe in, but how many will admit to having a face lift.. Lets face it, pretty much nobody, which seems strange, as everybody with a modicum of intelligence can see clearly, especially when our modern TVs will highlight every conceivable blemish, scar, and re arrangement ever made. Even funnier is the pema grin which I think was made famous by the Joker from the Batman stories where the skin has been pulled so fucking tightly that to blow there noses, they have to part their bloody hair... I have no issue with self improvement or surgery of any kind if it enhances ones own life, but not at the expense of losing touch with what's really important in life, and that is love and empathy and compassion for all sentient beings and not this fucking hierarchical class system based on total bullshit and illusion.

So welcome the bus pass and the wisdom which comes with an advancement in years and for all the Ladies out there battling with all things youthful. It's OK, There is good news after the menopause.The hairs on your legs begin to thin and get so light, no one will notice, which is great because it means you will more time to work on that new moustache and five o clock shadow which will greet you each morning... OOPS

Take care, and love each other.It's the only real thing which exists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

It's time for a change.

2010-12-12T15:59:00.005+04:00

THE MOVIE WE CALL LIFE.

This life we experience, this movie, this pantomime, with its ever changing cast of players going about their lives, utilising these space suit we have inherited to experience a certain level of consciousness for a certain level of time, completely unaware of a deeper belonging that transcends time and space, and how we are all interconnected at a source, which for now, a minority can only comprehend.For now!!. But as a spiritual awareness sweeps in a new age, more will become aware and adapt until it becomes a reality and this awakening will become the majority as a whole new age will be ushered in and no longer will humanity be divided, ruled and conquered by the the few for the few.This is a world I envisage, and convinced will materialise before the director yells cut on my own mortal coil.

The rest of this blog is dedicated to the readers who have not gone back to their other web browser pages which are open, to continue Face Book chatting, Yeoville cyber living, and all others who are scratching their beautified, well groomed exteriors whilst stating, '' What the fuck is he talking about''.So, to those 75% who I have lost at this juncture, Have a wonderful day,the nail bars and hair salons should be open very soon. To the remaining 25%, enjoy.

Ti's the 12/12/2010

Cycling today on a very cold December morning I observed a random amount of strangers going about their days, and their eyes, faces and bodies told a thousand stories which I found fascinating.

The solitary man with a beard you could lose a badger in, whose eyes, whilst staring at the floor as he walked, told a story, a story which had no beginning, nor end, but was full of detail. The examination of his life, the failing of a present relationship perhaps, with an all to familiar pattern emerging, and the reflection of relationships past and where and how they disintegrated, and why he hadn't try harder to remedy the cracks in the foundations of something special which deserved a far greater effort. The blank staring into the distance, as he looked up, glazed and watery from the cold, without focus,giving an insight into his life, a look of remorse, or loss. Maybe this guy was the happiest guy on this planet, and I read him all wrong,maybe not. To you, man with beard, I salute you as you gave me my first profound thoughts of the day all within a few seconds as I passed you.

To the couple carrying vast swathes of Xmas gifts back to the car as I passed them on the cycle track, for their two young children who were playing in the path of bikes coming and going, totally oblivious to the parents, who had a look of disdain that bikes were cycling around or anywhere near them and their two little darlings, regardless that it was indeed designed for cyclists to enjoy. But a very real look of contentment that come Xmas day, their children will be no social pariahs, as they are lavished with a plethora of must have gifts which would put a serious dent in Tanzania's debt and more importantly, make them the envy of nursery schools up and down the land. I even salute you with your insular, material behaviour which would do the most partisan American proud..

To the overweight couple in matching Lycra shorts which should have been outlawed years ago, sweating and panting and heaving their way up a mild gradient in sub zero temperatures, knowing that this piece of exercise will afford them the luxury of another whole Xmas pudding, guilt free, and maybe, they just might get that sixpence as well. To you my fat,fashion faux pas Lycra wearing,,super size everything Dunkin Doughnut loving bouncy castles.

I salute you also, and I hope the new years resolution to get in shape really materialises for you and you go from procrastinating to acting!!!!..

To the two athletes pounding the pavements whilst chatting and laughing together,enjoying the pleasure that derives from a healthy body and mind. Laughter really is the best medicine, and the look of contentment in their eyes also spoke volumes about these two characters and how they conduct their lives. Expensive trainers, thermal running gear,expensive watches monitoring the times, calories burnt and data which will grade their progress. These two were disciples of discipline, good time keepers i would wager, and witty banter abound. Cupboards full of protein powders and vitamins. Minoxidil for starving off male pattern baldness, and suits hung nicely in rows, still fresh from the dry cleaners and I had to wonder.Do they treat their partners as well as themselves. To you, I salute you also ,as you gave me much food for thought.

I may come across as arrogant to presume I knew what these people were thinking, but this is not my intention. Only to share what I thought as I passed this eclectic bunch of individuals in a blink of an eye and to highlight the amount of data our brains digest in split seconds and the movies we create from them. Now, on to my last observation.

To the policy and agenda makers, Government officials, and the shadowy hand that controls them all, like a macabre Punch and Judy show, whose decision making costs millions of innocent lives, and plunges humanity into a debt trap which will never dissipate and will be left as a legacy to bear by the next generation of children, who are totally unaware of what is to come. The greedy bankers and their controllers getting richer as the polarity between the haves and the have nots widens by the second. To you all, without an ounce of compassion, love, empathy or care for your fellow man, you get no salute, only a dire warning as your own space suit which is rapidly crumbling leaves your soul exposed, exposed to a life of torment, anguish, despair and suffering, as the rule of Karma cannot be side stepped or fooled. For this blink of an eye material gain, there will be so much pain to endure, so enjoy this final curtain call, millennia of coming back as wasps, dung beetles, and your worst fucking nightmare, one of the enslaved poor eagerly awaits you. The universal energy matrix has a wicked sense of humour, and the meek, enlightened, and genuine will be laughing long and hard for centuries to come as the shift of consciousness makes any hierarchical structured society a thing of the past. Elitism has no part to play in our evolvement and future, and will be consigned to the museum of evolution, along with that other antiquated, archaic institution, the divine right to rule through bloodline. That's right. Royal families, and other parasitic free loaders. This in a modern world is just incredible, but the fabric of their foundations are unravelling, stitch by stitch, at break neck speed and we could well see Royalty collapse in our lifetimes which for me would me fucking marvellous. So ''Viva la revolucíon'', we are living in a rapidly changing, evolutionary world which has had enough of greedy mankind as it is. We don't need Fascism, Communism, Marxism, Dictatorships or any other Ism's. In the words of the great John Lennon....

''ALL WE NEED IS LOVE''...

Because love will indeed set us free, and will unite us all, so smile, its our time to shine, as empathy, care and compassion replaces greed, selfishness and the need to covert and control.

''MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU''

NOW, WHERE DID I HIDE THOSE WMD'S

2010-09-11T20:01:00.004+04:00

You can clearly see from the accompanying pictures that today's blog will be a comical trip down memory lane on the anniversary of the biggest attack on its own people since pearl harbour, and since that wonderful human soul, Adolf H decided to bomb his own government building and then blamed his opposition to gain a sympathetic victory, which clinched his ascendancy to power, and the subsequent cleansing of more than 6 million Jews, but ironically failed to exterminate the bloodline which were responsible for all 3 of the above atrocities, the deeply Zionist and satanic Rothschild cabal, which claim to be Jewish themselves, but are as Jewish as Yasser Arafat, and all possess foreskins you could pull over their reptilian heads if need be.....

OK then, once again, i have to be careful not to alienate to many readers before the satire begins, so will quickly move on from conspiratorial ramblings, to Satirical observations...

Greetings, T'is 11/9/2010...........

It's been almost 10 years since The 2 towers were incinerated by a controlled demolition, then blamed on a bunch of sand kicking camel Jockeys who learnt to fly paper planes made from opium and weapons of mass destruction,somewhere in a cave on the Afghan/Pakistan border, which was financed by the Iraq government..They then graduated and spent a few hours in the Trocedero amusement arcade in Leicester square on the ''This is a real as it gets flight simulator'' Total spend, $5.00 and 1 hour of intensive labour..

But the world and his dog was convinced at the time that these 23 Arab terrorists armed with a set of plastic knives and forks, a stack Of Qurans, and the Dummies guide to flying 767's into very tall buildings were indeed responsible (see illustration)..Thanks Leon for that,!!!!

Now, even the most ardent fan of government propaganda should now realise that 9/11 was an inside job and that the official story has more holes in it than my old man's string vest, but still, the war criminals who perpetrated this atrocity which include..Drum roll pleeeeese... Bush, both Jr and Sr, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Powell, Blair, Brown, Straw, Lord Goldsmith ET AL, plus the whole team responsible for writing the paper''The project for the new American Century, (PNAC)'' which clearly outlines the blue print for domination and control of the middle east through phony wars built on lies and deceit are still at large and still pulling strings and dominating policy and agenda which will see ever more attacks on other states to control resources.

.Forget that Obama is democrat or that the previous right wing neo Nazi fascist's were Republican. Only the mask has changed, and not the puppeteers, and nor the agenda they all serve, which is a Globalized new world order with an elitist hierarchy controlling every human on this planet via a micro chip implanted under the skin, and linked to super computers which will know every single thing about you, and will control everything you do.. And this is why 9/11 was designed to happen.To justify such radical agendas, they needed to create radical problems. Hence the poor Guys set up as patsy's, were sacrificed along with 3000 others innocent human beings in a macabre twisted blood letting ritual which served their purposes perfectly,but, again, the irony and lies behind the story rears its ugly head again, when 7 of the supposed terrorists are still very much alive and kicking and going about their business which includes designing very powerful catapult's for firing large amounts of camel shit at low flying F15 fighter jets in Afghanistan, which seems to be their only surface to air defence system, which is just the way The global bullies like it i guess... One positive has arisen though in Afghanistan. The opium production has increased by 500% since removing the Taliban, and the finest grade heroin has been flooding the streets of the Western developed nations, and creating a whole new breed of junkies , whilst making massive profits for the drug runners and mobsters who control this evil trade, which as it happens is The C.I.A. who love to fund wars, coup DE Ta's and civil unrest through the peddling of Narcotics. What a job hey. Ca rte Blanche to literally make billions of dollars through the misery of others, whilst blaming anyone Dressed in a dish dash, or happens to enjoy wearing a red and white tea cosy on their heads..

Even the deeply patriotic, apple pie eating and flag waving xenophobes who make up the American media have been questioning the events of 9/11, apart from Fox of course, whose news readers still believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus because George Dubya said so.

Senator Joe Lieberman stated recently that with all the info and intelligence, Bush should have put two and two together and realised what was going on. Well, that eliminates that moron immediately. Cheney still does his shoes up for him apparently.

I recently had the pleasure of reading Bush's much heralded CV, and with George's permission i will post it here for you all to enjoy, and to the 750,000 innocent children who have lost their lives since 911 and to the many more who will follow in the quest to liberate the World from tyranny, it was worth it( said with extreme satire and sarcasm, just in case)... Bush, Blair, Brown, Cheney, Pearle, Rice, and now Obama and his handlers who control all this evil behind the scenes, I hope you fucking rot in hell, you murdering bunch of hyenas who are taking humanity to the point of destruction..

George W. Bush's Resume

George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Past Work Experience

Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments in Previous Positions

Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.
Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President

Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
ITS BEEN EMOTIONAL.
MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU. XXXXXXX

Mother Earth, Gaia, and the rise of the sacred Feminine..

2010-08-12T16:27:00.002+04:00

Well, it's been a while since JT has put fingers to key board and expressed his often controversial views on a wide array of topics and subject matter, which some of you would no doubt be celebrating, and others, from my requests to start writing again, not so.. So, here we are again, inspired from a long lay off, having taken a sabbatical from the brutal summer sun of Dubai, for the skin friendly temperature of Gay Brighton in the UK, where i have been for the last 6 weeks, improving my Volley ball skills and just taking it easy, which for those who know me, will be screaming, " But you don't do fuck all anyway!".. Haters.!!! Don't hate the player, its the game you should be aiming your vitriol at ;)

Anyway, enough small talk, time for today's observation and JT666'S thoughts on the matter.

Greetings, T'is August the 12th, 2010.

Mother Earth, or Gaia for those of you who believe that she is a living, breathing, self regulating entity whose ability to sustain life whatever conditions are thrown at her, must therefore have a living consciousness.

( I wont get any more technical than that at this juncture, or many of my readers will be shrugging their shoulders and stating, "He's off on a rant again, and Being Paris Hlitons best friend starts in 2 mins,and one of the girls wears the most amazing wig, and need to know which shop it came from.. and I must paint my toe nails a shocking pink before tomorrow's brunch). Ok, bear with me, the Science lesson is over.!!

I refer to the planet as a 'she', because in my opinion, it cannot be of male persuasion due to the constant shit, provocation, lies, deceit and a endless line of both physical and emotional abuse she has to suffer, endure and tolerate, induced in greater part on her, by decisions and actions more often than not of the male gender... BUT, and here lies the rub, like any,under evolved male who is now nursing a broken heart can testify, when a Woman finally says "Enough!", that my sausage spanking friends is it, period!!with no going back.Sure, like any long suffering female, she will give you stark, repeated warnings and final reminders that all is not well and will not be tolerated for to much longer, and though that time period is relative depending on the emotional strength of the Female in question, one thing is certain, the time frame has a finality attached to it, its just a matter of Time!!

Pretty much like Gaia or mother Earth, who is now reminding humanity,"Keep pushing your luck and see what happens!"

For scalding looks, slamming doors, and a torrent of tears, read, Volcanoes, Earth quakes and huge deluges of rain resulting in land slides and basic carnage around the globe.

Alas, like the stupid male who continues to repeat history and refuses to change his ways within a lopsided relationship, as does Humanity who continues with provocation and emotional battery of this wonderful old Girl, who has seen this all before, many times, and will soon be drawing a metaphoric line in the sand with a simple statement.... "It ends here!"Step over this line and reap the whirlwind, and We'd better hold on good and tight to our nuts, because this aint no ordinary blow job on its way.The disgruntled old girl will produce a light show which will make the Palm Islands Firework display look like a wet box of matches going up..Getting the picture? and here is where it becomes amusing for me.

This planet we now stand on has been spinning around the Sun and existing within this galaxy for roughly 4 billion years, give or take a month, and a educated guess could confidently express she will still be here for another billion, or certainly long after anyone reading this can affect her survival.But in our arrogance believe we have it within our power to save her, Don't make me fucking laugh. Mis guided arrogance is something we excel in as a species..

Save her?. This experience we are all having right now is nothing more than residing on a particular level of consciousness, for a brief moment of time, in an inherited space suit or outer shell we call a body, for a time period akin to a blink of an eye in relative terms once again, and i am sorry to say this, but Humans will go down in history as a Fucking, meddling menace, a surface irritant, hell bent on destruction, greed and power, without the empathy and compassion needed to co exist in a peaceful manner.

I can only make a metaphorical comparison again here, but i see humanity as a dose of Thrush to Mother Earth, and the topical creams she applies to herself to purge the irritation comes in the way of Monsoons and other shows of extreme power which relieves the itching for a while, before the bad smell, irritation and general annoyance comes back with a vengeance.That's when more drastic action is required and a pessary or something stronger is necessary to eradicate this unwelcome visitor..For pessary, read Large cataclysmic event, along the lines of the Dinosaurs getting the red card and banished to the annal's of history, and consequently since then, a handful of "End of days"events which is a natural, cyclical and a cleansing operation of an ungrateful and greedy inhabitant, and the whole cycle starts all over again.

Now this is where it gets interesting. 2012... which is a date, unless you have been living under a rock, or happen to be one of the masses who believes the world rises and sleeps with the Sun, and i don't mean that all powerful giver of life to all things we purvey, i am talking about that guttural dog shit of a newspaper which masquerades as a source of valid information.For those of you in either camp, 2012 will mean the date has the number 2 in it , Twice, which is amazing ;)

For those who do know a little more, 2012 is a massively important date for a number of reasons, but mainly as a warning by intelligence( Mayan's, The Hopi Indians, The I ching, and no, that is not pronounced itching.!) far greater than what we possess today of impending change and a final warning that we'd better get with the programme, or else.I could write 1000's of words about 2012 and its possible ramifications for us, but will leave that for you to discover and interpret

If you are happy with the ways things are and care not to make it up to her, sit back, strap yourselves in and marvel at what a truly pissed off Female is capable of, and Men, heed this metaphorical warning, You'd better start understanding that the Female empowerment movement is here and gathering momentum, like a giant snow ball gathering size and speed as we hurtle onwards, and if you want to play a role as a species, I suggest developing a certain level of spirituality, embracing empathy, love, care and compassion, which will see you grow with her, not away from her.If not, reside to this simple fact.Divorce, separation, and a life alone, beating your meat stick watching Red tube or you porn, or moving to Thailand where you can buy an orgasm and female/she male company for a box of ping pong balls..Joking aside, we run the risk of becoming surplus to requirements, like the male worker bee, which is disappearing from nature faster then Usain Bolt running through the streets of Mississippi , followed by a load of Southern red necks with home depot white table cloths covering their larger than normal in bred Noggins, with a tyre in one hand and a box of matches in the other..

Right, I'm off to invent a Dildo which can mow the lawn, and listen without looking bored. I could be the next Bill Gates with that fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '/;)

Until the next time,.. may the palm be with you

Dick, thats another fine mess you have gotten us into.

2010-05-01T23:45:00.003+04:00

Big Oil, Big lies..

This one is just for you Nik, and as we know, there are certain entities which operate above the law, far to many to mention here, But identified below is one of the most protected from upon high companies operating today...

T'is Saturday, the 1st of MAY

Oil is a dirty business. It's not just the politics of oil, which are dirty enough by themselves -- it's also the environmental toll of the substance. Even when used correctly, its chemical byproducts cause air pollution and release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. But the real mess comes when things go terribly wrong -- much like what happened recently when the offshore drilling rigDeepwater Horizon exploded and sank to the ocean floor off the coast of Louisiana. This set in motion a chain of disastrous events that are only now beginning to unfold.

Nearly 50% of the seafood consumed by Americans comes from the Gulf of Mexico, by the way. That explains why seafood contains such an alarmingly high concentration ofmercury as well as industrial chemicals -- because the Gulf of Mexico is America's toilet where every toxic chemical, heavy metal and pharmaceutical that's flushed down the drain ends up getting dumped. No wonder the Gulf of Mexico is home to one of the planet's largest ocean "dead zones" -- over 6,000 square miles of dead water where fish can't even survive (http://serc.carleton.edu/microbelif...).

And that was before the oil spill. Now, thanks to a creeping oil slick that's approaching shorelines throughout the gulf, the breeding grounds for a huge number of marine species is now threatened. Species from pelicans to shrimp are likely to be devastated by this oil slick.

It's already being called a "mega-disaster" by environmentalists. "The magnitude and the potential for ecological damage is probably more great than anything we've ever seen in the Gulf of Mexico," said Nancy Rabalais in a Washington Post interview (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dy...). She heads the Louisiana Universities Marine Consortium in Cocodrie, La. "Once it hits the shoreline, it'll get into everything."

"Ninety-seven percent of commercial fish and shellfish in the Gulf depend on estuaries and wetlands during their life cycle," said Jane Lubchenco, head of theNational Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Those wetlands are about to be covered with a thick brown slime that will make reproduction of seafood species virtually impossible.

Oil continues to spill out of the sunken rig wreck at the rate of 5,000 barrels a day. So far, there's little hope of stopping it. Observers are already characterizing this spill as "worse than the Exxon Valdez spill" in 1989.

Everything you've read here so far is being widely reported in the mainstream media. The story that follows, however, is much more difficult to find.

It was only a few weeks ago that Obama proudly announced he would expand offshore drilling, breaking one of his many now-worthless campaign promises, and stating a never ending stream of lies,which seems to go unnoticed.The black messiah really is the Teflon Don, even though the opinion polls and support for this slick fraudster are on the decline, the media Goliaths make sure this African sell out has the full supposed support of the nation.The lack of outcry from Democrats over this announcement was nothing short of bizarre:The silence was thunderous. If Bush had announced an expansion of offshore drilling, he would have been widely (and rightly) condemned for it by the left. But when Obama announces the same thing, it's apparently okay with Democrats.

Back on the Republican side of things, the company Halliburton -- yes, the same one that rakes in billions of dollars in profits rebuilding things in the Middle East after the U.S. military blows them up And the company which was promised the contract to pump the trillions of dollars of oil out of Afghanistan into deep water ports owned by the USA in the Caspian sea, until the Taliban decided the deal was not in the interest of Afghanistan,hence the need for a reason to remove them from power, and hence 9/11 which gave them all the reason they needed through a false flag incident and to blame a regime and country which had as much to do with the twin towers as you or i did.( and guess what, Haliburton are right back in the mix now in that fucked up country now The USA have bombed it back to the stone ages.. Anyway this is the same company that completed the "rig cementing" just 20 hours before the rig exploded. A federal study, meanwhile, shows that most rig blowouts are caused by problems with rig cementing. So now it appears that Halliburton may be implicated in this environmental disaster. (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artic...)Don't make me fucking laugh, there will be a whitewash, disguised as an inquiry, which will rival Tony Blairs complete joke of an inquiry headed up by LORD WHITEWASH HIMSELF, THE RIGHT DIS HONORABLE I'M A PEDOPHILE HUTTON, when the Uk public demanded Blair come under scrutiny for his mendacity in the Iraq, weapons of mass destruction fiasco .. Not a chance my friends, not when you have Tricky Dicky Cheney intrinsically linked to the company he was C.E.O of and very much still part of..

The San Jose Mercury News is reporting that a lawsuit filed by a rig technician who was injured in the explosion claims Halliburton made crucial mistakes in cementing the well, "increasing the pressure at the well and contributing to the fire, explosion and resulting oil spill." (http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_...)

A blog at the L.A. Times explored the full extent of the Halliburton connection to the oil spill:http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gre...

In Iraq, Halliburton had a couple people instructed to bang a hammer against pieces of wood to pretend they're constructing something while the rest of the employees work on stealing all that sweet, sweet oil.and Despite seemingly cutting contact with Halliburton and its profits, Cheney gets a dollar from Halliburton each time an innocent civilian in Iraq is killed.,

Once headed by Vice President Dick Cheney, now finds itself in the spotlight as Congressional investigators are beginning to ask questions. But don't expect this to go very far: It's all just theater to appease the public until memory of this event fades and the old corrupt Washington / Big Business machine can get rolling again.

Since when has concern for the environment ever got in the way of powerful corporate interests that have political pull in Washington? Rest assured that no matter what the immediate fallout from this disastrous oil-era accident, the Halliburtons of the world continue to rake in billions of dollars in annual profits even as their mistakes extract an incalculable loss of life across our natural world, but do they care, do they fuck. We are just collateral damage in a war built on a craving for more power, and corporate greed, and when the Government can turn a blind eye to over 3000 innocents being sacrificed in the 9/11 inside job, what do they care about a few fish and sentient mammals.

Halliburton has shareholders to please, after all... no matter how many pelicans, sea turtles or dolphins have to die in the process.

Slick, huh?

IT'S ALL WITHIN

2010-04-27T02:43:00.005+04:00

.Well, it’s been a few weeks since I last enthralled you all with a few rapid fire Blogs, well, he's back, but this comeback message is once again controversial and not for the mind controlled morons and sheep who masquerade as free thinking individuals, but for those who are truly open minded, and for those who have embarked on a spiritual journey and no longer believe the fucking nonsense the media spin as ''The Truth'', read on, I’ll think you'll love this one!!!!!...

Ok, I have lost maybe 50% of you with the first paragraph, back to the beauty salons, nail bars and the shopping malls for you enjoy your day. For those with an IQ above that of gardening tools, enjoy!!

T'is Tuesday, April 27th... 2010

Those who seek answers for their health outside the realm of their own decisions are looking in the wrong place. Health is no accident. Lasting health can only appear as the result of a lifetime of informed, deliberate decisions aligned with nature's principles of health, not the distorted version of health promoted by our backward system of mainstream medicine which is a major source of disease which the masses are so unaware of.

I recently had a situation with the Swine flu vaccine and I strongly suggested to the person involved not to go through with it, and gave her a host of information which supported my concern, but alas, this person is a classic example of media controlled cattle, which blindly put their faith and that of their own children into the hands of corporations which have nothing but profit and control as their motivation, and little, if any empathy for the patient, who stare like lost sheep into the abyss waiting for the wonder cures for all manmade ailments.. Well, it isn’t going to happen that way, and humanity needs to educate itself, and stop believing this bullshit being promoted worldwide, before it’s too late

And yet many people still believe that health is something that is bestowed upon them by some mysterious exterior force. The whole effort to raise money to find "the cure" for cancer, for example, is a powerful demonstration of misplaced faith in external healing. This idea that a cure for cancer must come from outside one's self rather than from within is perhaps the greatest conceptual sleight of hand that has yet been pulled off by the sick-care industry.

The cure for cancer is already programmed within. Each person is born with a highly-advanced cellular nanotechnology that already knows how to cure cancer. Activating this inner healing potential is all that's necessary to prevent and cure cancer everywhere around the world, starting right now.

Health happens through you, not to you

And yet the masses continue to eat cancer-causing foods and pursue cancer-causing lifestyles even while blindly handing over their money in the form of donations to organizations that they naively hope will come along and "save them" someday.

Think carefully about this dynamic: The person believes health is something that happens TO them rather than something that happens THROUGH them. And so they remain stuck, floundering in a pattern of self-inflicted sickness and disease while hoping that some other organization, government or health care plan will somehow save them.

While they wait for that external solution, disease and sickness creeps up on them.

Obesity is what happens when a person spends each day imagining how much they're going to start exercising tomorrow. (FAT PROCRASTINATORS ARE A PRIME EXAMPLE)

Cancer is what happens when a person spends each day eating cancer-causing foods, smoking, drinking whilst donating money to any number of charities for the Cure rather than just getting some sunshine to boost their own vitamin D, plus substantial amounts of Vitamin C and changing their lifestyle which includes daily exercise...and above all reducing stress, which the catalyst for the C word., and I don’t mean the other C word, which I love by the way!!!

Disease is what happens when people believe they have no role in their own health outcome. So they eat for entertainment rather than for nourishment, and they live for product-induced external stimulation rather than internal fulfillment.

Did that fly right over your heads!

At this point in this blog, by the way, we've already lost 99 out of 100 mainstream people. fuck them, their loss.. These concepts -- that health is no accident -- are so foreign to the average pre-programmed consumer, sheeple, that they are incapable of recognizing them, much less embracing them. They've been told so many times that health comes through intervention (vaccines, pharmaceuticals, chemotherapy, etc.) that the idea of health being created from within just doesn't compute for them and the saddest thing is, the whole groundhog principle of passing on this indoctrination to their innocent children for the whole sad cycle to repeat itself over and over.

And that's the way mainstream medicine likes it. A population that believes it has no control over its own health is ripe for exploitation by a highly interventionist medical industry. Those who have lost hope in their own inner health potential tend to place their hope in things like silly pink-ribbon fundraisers that promise to "end breast cancer forever" -- a wishy-washy idea that lies somewhere between poetic fiction and outright marketing fraud.

Cancer can never be "cured" through any external, artificial means, regardless of how many billions of dollars are thrown at it. Trying to cure cancer with synthetic medications makes about as much sense as trying to cure illiteracy by feeding children "reading pills."

Health is a determined path, not an accidental occurrence

Health, like learning to read, is something that must be pursued through dedicated self-advancement. Neither literacy nor health can be endowed upon you with the flick of a magic (medication) wand. They cannot be injected into you through a needle. They can only be achieved by teaching each person how to own their results.

If you wish to learn how to read, for example, you must first accept responsibility that no one else can read for you. YOU must go through the learning and advancement curve if you wish to experience the positive results of being literate.

It's the same with health: If you wish to express health literacy, no one else can do it for you -- no doctor, no vaccine, no cancer non-profit group and certainly not buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken. You must grasp the controls over your own health destination. Take responsibility for the results you are creating with each and every decision you make: Decisions about food, stress, sleep, the use of your mind, the use of your free time, the personal care products you use, etc...

Be an adult

If you accept responsibility for your own health, then you are an adult. Children, on the other hand, take no responsibility for them and instead rely on outside factors to determine their experience. A child's happiness, sadness and other circumstances depend almost entirely on what's happening externally at that moment.

Adulthood is only achieved when a person grasps the level of maturity necessary to allow their inner expressions to override external influences. An adult is someone who can achieve their own health, learning, happiness or bliss without needing to turn to external (artificial) stimulations to mimic such conditions.

A Childs mind, for example, uses food as entertainment, television as distraction and condescension as an affirmation of self importance. This is the role of much of reality television, for example: To allow the viewing audience to feel important by offering them a visual forum through which they can express judgmental views at the inadequate people being paraded in front of them through artificial constructs of staged emotional drama.

In other words, you get to judge people and hurl verbal insults at them. "She's got fake boobs! she has had some work done on her nose, chin, lips, blah blah.. Fuck me, why do you find this shit so appealing... Classic mis direction techniques used by the media empires to detach you from the truth of who you are and what we are capable of as a collective consciousness...

Now, people reading this will be shouting, but Cameron, you act like a child most of your waking life, to which I totally concur and long may I continue, but that has zero to do with who I am at my core and my level of evolvement, or understanding the huge difference of acting childlike as an informed adult, opposed to acting like a child and knowing fuck all about who we really are and taking responsibility as an educated adult.. Worlds apart im afraid...Just before those out their reading this want to make the predictable comment at the bottom of the page...I have just pissed on your bonfire!!!

Consumption is a one-way street

As you've probably already noticed, most of the mainstream population operates from the child mindset. They are consumers, begging to be distracted, injected, entertained, medicated and told how to live, think and feel (and vote). The idea of stepping outside this preprogrammed existence and exploring the world from an adult mindset is downright frightening to these people.

Approaching the world from a point of view that acknowledges self-responsibility means casting aside all the convenient comforts of living life as a child and instead bracing yourself for the harsh reality of taking responsibility for your own decisions. Being a child is so much easier, isn't it? If you're just a child, you can't be blamed for bad results. It's always someone else's fault. (How long do I have to wait for Komen to actually FIND the cure, anyway? Can I keep eating bacon in the mean time and smoking twenty fags a day, well yes you can, its your life, so you can contribute to its decline and ultimate demise as fast you want, but dont whinge and moan like a deprived, depressed artist when the cure you seek does not materialize.
,
Most people, no matter what their age, have still not achieved self-responsibility. Most people are engorged in their television, gossip, fast food, chemical addictions and illusions of health that they've acquired by purchasing "trans fat free" processed foods or "high fiber" breakfast cereal laced with sugar. They are the minds of children living in deteriorating adult bodies while begging for magical medical interventions that will never exist.

My greatest wish is that our population of humans on our planet will grow up!!! And embrace adulthood. By that, I don’t mean lose sight of childish humor, or laugh loud and often, but by taking responsibility like an adult of who we truly are at our core being, and stop waiting for these mega corporations to find cures for diseases, often exacerbated by the very drugs they manufacture…Only through educated, responsible decisions that consider the long-term consequences of our immediate actions as individuals -- or humanity – can we hope to evolve into a sustainable species. The failure of mainstream humans to understand simple concepts like "health is no accident" are merely a reflection of the far wider and more dangerous failures to understand the dynamics of sustainable life on a self-contained planet in a vast and formidable universe.

If we cannot attain the level of adulthood to take care of our own bodies, how on earth can we expect to achieve the level of consciousness necessary to function as stewards for the only habitable planet we know of in our entire universe?, which is another blog altogether, but for the record, I believe we are not alone!!!!

Humanity remains in its infancy. Those of us who accept responsibility for our own actions are living as rare observers in a world run by children, populated by children and now being destroyed by children -- all in adult bodies, of course. The childish concepts of selfish thinking and "that's MINE!" are the lifeblood of our world's largest corporations which seek to own everything they touch, much like little children licking all the cookies to claim them as personal property.

Corporations, for the most part, are immature expressions of economic selfishness that cater to immature consumers who have not yet decided to embrace adult-class self responsibility. The entire free market, in fact, is driven primarily by childish selfish greed rather than ideas of compassion for fellow human beings or business models based on determined sustainability rather than consumption gullibility.

Even most of the non-profits, which are supposed to be based on compassion, have turned into childish, greed-driven money expansion machines that only seek to rake in more profits at any cost to society. Nowhere is this more evident than in the cancer industry, where both the American Cancer Society and the Cure have become financial juggernauts by promising cures for cancer but delivering nothing but more disease to the people. (Mammograms can cause cancer, for example.)Do the research; I am just directing you here!!!!

It is no accident, either, that in our time of the greatest disease ever witnessed on planet earth, we also live among the most powerful and exploitative "disease non-profits" that promise health salvation if we would only give them another few billion dollars.

As long as childish thinking dominates modern society, such fraudulent non-profits will continue to prey upon the externalization of health tendencies of the population. The greatest fear of every disease non-profit front group is that mainstream consumers might wake up, take charge of their own health, begin to make informed decisions about preventing disease and thereby make the disease non-profits largely irrelevant.

How convenient it is, then, that the very products now used to raise money for the cancer industry non-profits are the same ones that promote cancer, heart disease, obesity and dull minds...

It’s your choice guys and gals. I cannot make you do anything, but you have so much to gain by adhering to the above info.

Until the next Blog, which will be Called Ageism, the new racism...?

Cheers Mike for the link.

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU.,

Why is it that only whites can be racists??"

2010-03-26T02:26:00.001+04:00

After writing what I consider to be 2 Blogs of a quite ridiculous nature on Inbreeding Royals, and the curse of being ginger, today’s observation is of a far more sinister nature, but needs to be addressed, and publicized and it’s a topic which is bound sure to raise pulses, produce heat emanating from collars, and will incite the Racist police demanding I apologize to all concerned, but of course, as I am not ashamed by what I write, and feel completely justified in stating this, they will receive a large cup of ‘’ Go Fuck yourself’’

Greetings, T’is the 26^th of March 26, 2010

Someone finally had to say it. How many are actually paying attention to this?

"There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, as there are the same equivalents throughout Europe, and then there are just Americans, or your basic Europeans but we will stick with the Americans as it’s easy to identify with and to avoid confusion .

Non ethnics are often passed in the street and sneered at whilst being referred to as any number of names like, ‘White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey’’ ,''Whitey,' 'Caveman', Red Neck!!... And that's OK..But when they get called, Nigger, Coon, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Paki, Gook, or Chink etc.. You are immediately called a racist.

They claim that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live? they have the United Negro College Fund. They have Martin Luther King Day.

They have Black History Month. They have Cesar Chavez Day. They have Yom Hashoah. They have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.They have the NAACP. You have BET(black entertainment channel).... If we had WET (White Entertainment Television),we'd be racists. If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists. If we had White History Month, we'd be racists. If we had any organization for only whites to ‘advance' OUR lives, we'd be racists. There is a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that??A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships.... You know we'd be racists. There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US Yet if there were 'White colleges', that would be a racist college. In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we Marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer ,running from the law and posing as a threat to Society, you call him a racist.

I am proud of who i am, and it matters not which color i am, but what matters a great fucking deal is the inconsistency and reverse racism which has become a pandemic in today's world, and once again, the Politically correct brigade have deliberately stuck their unwanted, big fucking noses into peoples affairs, and highlighted the plight of the Ethnic minorities, whilst once again deliberately targeting the Whites as the offenders, and at the same time encouraging the Ethnic groups to display massive racism towards us which is causing huge civil unrest, which is all part of the master plan into inciting race riots on the streets on the USA, which will in turn lead to F.E.M.A declaring martial law, and the militarization of the gud ole US OF A .

Don't fall for this Shit, and begin to recognize what is going on here, before its to late. Racial civil unrest will be used to create this military state, and if my magic they don't succeed, as we begin to realize this is all part of a plot against us, the biggest race riots on the planet have been planned by staging an assassination of The fake President by a southern god fearing white KLU KLUX KLANSMAN, which will create fucking chaos and set off a black v's white street war which will run for years and years..

You heard it here first!!!!!! And as usual, ''MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU''

Who's your Daddy Update...The return of the red head!!

2010-03-24T20:39:00.006+04:00

Opposite, are pictures of two beautiful looking children, who will grow up to be traffic wardens, or politicians....
Can you spot the similarities??

In an unprecedented move, the author of this here blog will break new ground and write a brief follow up on last nights topic, as i had many e mails asking me why i had persecuted Ginger people so harshly,(in their opinion) which is fine, and i replied as eloquently as i could why i had chosen this particular subject, and why also, so many people found it funny(that's right, for every person who felt wronged, 3 others exclaimed tears of joy whilst reading it.. and as my blog was designed to amuse, confuse, and abuse,in equal measures, the majority I'm afraid really enjoy the slant i put on things and how i express my opinions on worldly events, so its here to stay and will not be watered down in any shape or form..... Remember, its a comical blog with social and ethnic stereotyping very much at the fore of my humor, which some people find offensive, but if you could just see it for what it is, and that i am not on any crusade to deliver major journalistic pieces to the sensitive and needy, i think you may just start to enjoy them for what they are..Satirical, sarcastic and exaggerated......

Right, i thought i would do some research on Ginger people, and below is what i discovered, which i hope you lot will find informative, but if, once again you find yourself feeling persecuted, hard done by or offended, take comfort that these are not my thoughts, so please don't shoot the messenger.

Greetings Ti's Wednesday, 24th of march 2010

OK should politically correctness matter?, in my opinion, absolutely not, as more important factors at times outweigh the need for this ridiculous level of social cowardice.
Being ginger is not funny, or clever, and its our duty to help these unfortunate souls.
For example, we are governed by a state of formal checks and balances, and if someone is rude and nobody highlights this, it will continue, unabated.The same way, if as decent caring citizens we don't alert the afflicted, they will carry on thinking its normal to have Ginger hair.We owe it to them, so they can do something about it, and start to blend in to society which is based on aesthetics and shallow beauty. So don't worry about negative consequences from The PC brigade, who are all fucking retarded anyway,with issues so deep rooted, I'm surprised they are allowed out of their own homes or mental institutions to create this state of social imprisonment.

So do them a favor and shout them out, point them in the direction of the hair dye section in Boots the chemist, and i am sure they will appreciate the help.

Historically, Red heads were thought by the puritans to be evil, and possibly in league with the Devil, and had no souls, hence to be called ginger, or red headed was an extreme insult, and their general appearance was considered scary to the ignorant and naive, especially to young children, who were heavily influenced by their parents... Now, i am not suggesting for one minute they are possessed by the devil, but it can be confirmed that in general Ginger people are less attractive than non Gingers, and in Italy, where aesthetics and beauty really are pre-requisites for being accepted have called for Gingers to be banned after research scientists discovered that they were up to 50% less attractive than Dark haired or natural Blonde's.

Gingers were studied across the country in secret by highly trained monkeys.As a result of this clandestine research, it was revealed that indeed, Red heads were found to be less attractive to the opposite sex and also that their eyes were to close together. Researchers also revealed that normal people are less likely to make contact, and may even cross the road to avoid the possibility of contracting Gingervitus, a nasty condition which turns the hair and gums Ginger, which is not very nice at all... .)

The Italian minister for the inferior, a Mr Bilbo Baggio called for improved surveillance on ginger folk as they are more likely to be long term unemployed, and less likely to procreate. ''We are a catholic country'', he states ,''and if people are unable to produce large amounts of healthy offspring, we must question their usefulness in our society'' hence, he went on to say '' we must make a conscious effort to reduce the number of gingers walking around until they vanish from our environment, over a period of time''
There was some good news that materialized from the study, where the same scientists found that eating ginger and being ginger had zero correlation, so their advise is, carry on enjoying the tasty root, which is great news for ginger eaters..

On receipt of these startling revelations, ginger people around the world are protesting at what they consider further discrimination, and TV star and radio tycoon Chris Evans, a well known ugly ginger bastard from the UK called the ginger hot line and stated,''I am ginger and i am proud, and you dare to call me ugly?''... Indeed they did, because indeed he is.. As a result of that exchange, a restraining order had to be taken out on the ginger haired has been, once again highlighting the unnecessary aggression these folk display when offended in any way. Chris, would you like some salt and vinegar for that huge chip on your shoulder?

OK will leave you for now, and leave you with today's final thought.
I am an avid cinema goer, and DVD watcher, and funnily enough, last night i watched the latest Harry Potter film, which i love, but as it finished and the euphoria subsided, a sinking feeling began to envelop me. I thought it was based on a true story, but it cant be,

I mean a ginger kid with two friends

come on JK Rowling, make it feasible at least

WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!!

2010-03-24T02:45:00.006+04:00

Right where do i start with today’s observational blog???bearing in mind how upset a few of my readers became after my harsh but fair comments on the madness of a certain sector of the Art world, I was almost afraid to put fingers to key board, and if you believe that, you are truly deluded, as quite frankly my dear, I don’t give a fuck..

If you don’t like it, then go and read the Guardian or the daily fascist, and get your news and articles sugar coated, but if you want a giggle and a fair chunk of controversy then get stuck in to this..

Right, it’s not going to be easy this one on the eyes, or the minds of the politically correct brigade, and certainly wont be easy on any passionate royalist, or any unfortunate with pale skin and ginger hair.(You have been warned, and that’s as close to a disclaimer, or health warning as I am willing to give).

Let me start by declaring I am completely anti-Royal or anti any ruling hierarchical structure, which has no place, or shouldn't have, in a modern society or culture, and truly belongs in the dark ages with its archaic traditions and medieval bi- laws which still apply, and like the Dinosaurs which have been extinct for millions of years, Ruling families belong in museums, and not extended a free hand to live a parasitic existence at the cost and detriment to decent working families who subsidize these incestuous tax exiles to the tune of many millions of pounds a year,

And in return we get, ummmmmm.. Fuck all!!!!!! Which seems a fair trade?

Greetings, T’IS Tuesday 24^TH OF March 23, 2010

Right then, let us start with a royal pop at the bungling Young flamed haired Prince Harry, who recently found himself in hot water for calling his fellow soldier a paki, whilst serving in Afghanistan, and then dressing up as a Nazi, at a fancy dress party, which should come as no surprise to the educated among my readers as the house of Windsor is in fact the house of Hanover, and is German to the core, and he was just doing what came natural to a supporter of the third Reich and an avid follower of the Hitler youth rally, but I find any racial slur coming from him as Fucking brave bearing in mind he is a ginger German who's mum fucked off with an ethnic playboy and who’s farther could have originated from a list as long as my meat stick, and could even be directly related via an incestuous bloodline going back 100’s of years. As we know the ruling elite have always enjoyed a little incest, a game the whole family can get stuck into, and hence, responsible for a host of physical deformities, plus inherited genetic disorders.

Why do you think good old Queen Elizabeth is never seen without her gloves? Why,Because she has a thumb like a blind cobbler, which looks well hammered and 5 other digits to accompany it. Hence why eye witnesses at the palace can testify that when ‘’one’’ is informed that another member of the German Windsor’s falls pregnant to a family member, she yells out ‘’If you enjoy incest,gimme 6”as she holds her modified hand up to That big eared fool Charles, who’s own shells are the result of a cross breading experiment which went horribly wrong.

The young prince by the way has announced that he will be returning to the frontline and has raised fears about his security, which in my opinion is foolish, and I think Prince Harry is endangering the lives of his fellow soldiers in the army, i mean with that ginger twerp and his ginger thatch very readily recognized they can’t fucking hide anywhere, but luckily for him The Taliban released a statement saying they won't bother trying to attack him as he has a bad enough life being ginger and actually felt sorry for him, which was nice and perfectly understandable .

I have a good friend on the palm, Rob, who actually handles the fact he is ginger very well, by wearing a butchers hat 24/7's.looks dreadful, but hey, anything’s better than showing the world your Carrot top.

Royal purist’s who believe that Charles must be the father, because young Harry is always saying stupid things, just like his senile and bumbling old fool of a grandfather, the master Lizard himself Our beloved court jester Phillip, so therefore must be the son of Charles, as Charles is Phillips son…What amazing fucking logic that is, and I thought the human intellect had diminished.. That’s akin to stating I like going fishing and prefers wine to water… I must be related to Jesus.

Come on, we know Charlie boy is not Harry’s Dad, and the favorite for the unwanted mantle is another useless ginger fuck stick, Major James Hewitt, who is Harry's Father (biological) but Harry gets his foot in his mouth and racist behavior from his adopted grandfather, as I explained above , but here’s a twist and a little known fact to mix it up and stir the pot a little. Whilst I was body guarding in Dubai many years ago i actually saw Princess Di at barasti with a certain Simon Murphy, a famous flamed haired lothario who coincidently enough has many familiar traits he shares with the future copper Knobbed king, Next time you see Simon, have a close look, if you are fortunate enough to spot him in the light ,as he only comes out at night, as the Dubai sun turns him redder than Satan’s bulbous helmet within a minute of exposing his fair and ginger skin to the brutal heat out here... But a little known snippet of information for you Royal watchers out there. Simon can be found in Cabana most nights and is available for after dinner speaking, opening fete's and Bar Mitzvahs , and is very open about his Royal shenanigan's.so tap him on the shoulder, buy him a drink and prepare to be dazzled, mainly from the glow coming from his head, but enjoy.... Lovely man....

But Let's face it, and be brutally honest, dirty Di, although much loved by the World, including me, spent most of the 80s on her back and had a queue of blokes leading right out of the palace door, while Charles was off cavorting with that horse faced monstrosity of a women, ‘’Camilla parks her bowls somewhere ‘’.who some say has a bigger cock than Charles??? So his dad could literally be any ginger, Tom dick or Harry..excuse the pun

The media reported that he and his ex girlfriend Chelsea never took a shower together, which comes as no surprise to me, and I don’t blame her, I wouldn’t trust a Nazi’s shower either.

So poor old Harry does not seem to have much luck does he, his step dad was a Muslim play boy, his dear mother was bumped off by a collaboration of MI5/MOSSAD AND THE CIA, he was photographed as a Nazi, caught smoking pot, and openly referred to Pakistani soldier, as ‘’That funny little Paki’’, and is now hated by all of Asia. Still could be worse I guess, at least he’s not Gay and Ginger.

Ok, on we go and Leading members of the British Establishment are looking forward to Barack Obama's first official visit. Gordon Brown is very keen to take him on a historical tour of Scotland, the Queen is very much hoping to entertain him at an official state banquet and Harry has been searching the internet I believe for some really top-notch nigger jokes, which is in my opinion quite endearing.

Barack is a classic coconut, being blackish on the outside, but white as the driven snow on this inside and is just a yes man for the Jewish Zionist brigade which placed him in the white house, now called the black house, which is ironic in itself, and will readily displace him if he ever gets above his station and rejects the agenda he has been employed to serve.. You see, if he ever thinks he can do some good or change policy for the positive, there is a distinct probability Al jazeera will come across video evidence of Obama, Jay-z and Bin Laden, all smoking a fuck off reefer in a Pakistani cave chatting in Jamaican patwa slang, planning to fly a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit into the Empire state building, and that will be his death warrant signed sealed and served up to him.. Gotta love clandestine politics, and how the wheels are really turning from within.

Ok that will do for tonight, but below will leave you all with a largish foot note to ponder and have a giggle at.

Feel free to juggle the order, or make a new list and put it up on the comments board, but for me this is how I rate them

Below is a list of socially unaccepted individuals going from the most accepted to the least.

10. Any member of a ruling dynasty from any country

9. Politicians, once again from any cuntry..oops, dyslexia

8. Tax inspectors

7. Customs officials

6. Wheel clamper's

5. Religious zealots.

4. Rapists

3. Pedophiles

2. Lying Women. ;)

1. BUT THE WINNER BY A MILE GOES TO DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

''A GINGER MIDGET"... what a combination, can you imagine the anger and feelings of discontent, inside this little fucker.., Napoleonic syndrome coupled with skin that can’t be exposed to sunlight, only 2ft 6 inches high and hair from the rectum of Beelzebub, in the genetic card game of life, this poor fucker was dealt a hand like a foot!!!!

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME, ‘’MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU’’

The World at a glance.

2010-03-20T00:53:00.002+04:00

OK, after my last blog raised the temperature and emotions some what, i have decided today not to target any particular demographic or person/persons, but rather i would take you on a whistle stop tour of my mind after collecting data from around the globe and processing it as only John Tomas can, but be warned, although this will not be attacking anyone topic, it will be politically incorrect on a magnificent scale,and those with a fragile constitution, or those who want to fight the good fight for the poor suffering minorities, and then phone me up, and subsequently hang up when the convo does not go their way, leave the blog here.. Lol... (You know i love you really).

Greetings, T'IS THE 19TH OF MARCH 2010

First up, and something i have often thought, but never mentioned until now.
Cheap fucking toilet roll, and why people buy this rubbish is beyond me. Personally, i hate the stuff and prefer the do it yourself colonic irrigation the toilets in Dubai afford you, with the powerful water jets which negate the need for this bane of humanity.. As long of course, you wash your hands afterwards, which I'm sure plenty of the locals in Dubai forget to do...My old man used to tell me, don't shake the right hand of an Arab, which at the time sailed right over my head, but now, makes perfect sense, so cheers DAD, another politically incorrect pearl of wisdom, but why the right in particular?.
Anyway, cheap toilet rolls, are found in service stations, collages, council houses, and pretty much anywhere where saving the pennies is a must. Listen, if you must skimp and save, please don't do it by buying this sandpaper. Case in point, when attempting to tear a sheet or two off, the fibers split apart and you are left holding two pieces of tracing paper effectively, and this will be repeated every time you repeat the act until you have a handful of this fucking paper in your hand, and due to the time already spent sat there, you know you shouldn't, but time is racing by, so you do what you have been programmed to do since you were toilet trained by your dear old mum, and shove it up your arse in an attempt to get the job done and get back to your date sat waiting for you, but unfortunately he/she will have to wait, as your fingers go straight through this flimsiest of material and get a handful of what you had for last nights supper, which is annoying to say the least, so you try again, and this time you leave half the roll up your arse as it tears and sticks like glue to a blanket, and now you are in right state, and you find yourself cursing the owner of the house/bar/cafe who has just become as popular as a ginger haired step-son, which is a horrific thought!!!! 10 Min's later after much wrestling and scrubbing of the hands you are good to go, and emerge from the bathroom flustered and make your way back to your man/Woman who you think has no idea whats just materialized in there , but are all to aware, as they themselves have been the victim on many occasions of this most unnecessary of trials and tribulations, but can so easily be avoided, if only the establishment purchased decent toilet paper, or better still, fit a do it yourself colonic..

Next up was a snippet i came across in my local paper, and it involved the French, which always grabs my attention as they fascinate me with their arrogance, down turned mouths but undoubted style.
I must say, this surprised me, as The cheese eating surrender monkeys are usually far to busy having affairs, complaining, or drinking copious amounts of Vino collapso to get involved with anything as banal as watching TV, but in a bizarre experiment Game show contestants, and the baying audience blindly obeyed orders to torture and kill each other to show the power that television has over the masses. These mindless robots masquerading as decent human beings thought they were taking part in a french quiz called the ''game of death'', which involved giving electric shocks to other players answering questions incorrectly. The contestants unknown to the audience were actors who repeatedly received these shocks until they appeared to die, whilst at the same time the audience whipped themselves into a frenzy chanting ''Punishment'' The experiment which was being aired last week was to show how manipulative power of television can push apparently normal people, although being French takes them out of that particular demographic, any nation which gets high on the legs of Frogs, and the consumption of slugs are as nutty as a squirrels dinner, but still, This shows how powerful TV can push humans to outrageous limits.The producer of this mind numbing fiasco said, ''We were amazed that 85% of the participants obeyed and enjoyed watching people being apparently tortured, which macabrely enough mirrored the same level of obedience the soldiers displayed whilst serving the third Reich in Nazi Germany which is wonderful news for the evolvement of the soul. Humanity has such a long way to go before critical mass is attained and empathy overcomes aggression and hostility towards one another, and the above shows how easily we are controlled by the media, and by those who control the media empires. Now that's over, the French can get back to making love, with anyone but their partners...Phew, normal service resumes in Gay Paree ..

Next on my list, but comes as no surprise to me when you understand how the game works. Tricky Bill,'' I am not a crook'' Clinton,( i know it was Nixon's statement, but works equally as well for slimy Bill) and the Boy, ''my dad made me do it'' Bush have teamed up to form a foundation for the poor suffering folk in Haiti.. Have they not suffered enough, without this satanic tag team running amok over there. Both these pedophiles, murdering fuck wits and satanists cause mayhem wherever they go, and i can only assume that they have spotted a few airstrips on google earth which will do very nicely as conduits to the mainland for their lucrative drug running exploits which they have been involved with ever since they ran for office and were made aware of the global agenda they must serve, and running drugs is very much part of the master plan and funds most of the covert operations to overthrow foreign governments which don't adhere to US policy, which is controlled by the Zionist Cabal. Deep, only scratching the surface i am afraid, but will do a long detailed blog another time on how deep the rabbit hole goes!!!... But its the Marianas trench, which to those educated enough in general knowledge is the deepest part of the ocean on this planet, and that would still barely scratch the surface on how truly dark and evil these pair of fucking clowns really are..

I was going to discuss next, a sensitive topic which involved a great deal of political incorrectness, but its getting late and i need copious amounts of charred animal flesh as i am hank Marvin after the gym, and this has over run..So I'll save how to diplomatically tell people they are Fat, and what to do about it, and how to approach a ginger person safely without catching anything in my next blog....

until then..... MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU............................................

CREATIVE SUICIDE

2010-03-10T17:31:00.004+04:00

As i sit on my window sill, window open and staring up at the object which i actually believe to be the only real thing worthy of worship, our creator and giver of life, ''EL SOL""

My mind is taking a stroll down memory lane and as i reminisce about all and sundry, i began to focus on the Women that have shared my life. (Can actually hear ''To all the girls i loved before'' by Willy Nelson being played in my head), there seems to be a common theme with at least 3 of them, and that is, Apart from being beautiful, which is a must, ( so sue me, i love beautiful things to look at,)

they all share the love of art, and the creativity and angst that seems to follow pretty closely behind, which can be a double edged sword , as anybody who has shared intimate times and space with an ''ARTY TYPE'' will concur.

GREETINGS, T'IS THE 10TH OF MARCH 2010.....

My present girlfriend called me whilst i was sprinting down memory lane, from a London gallery and described the work she was studying, which entailed, a women, a chicken with his head almost severed, and blood running from the neck of Colonel Sanders's favorite creature, all over the naked body of the artist, who by the way had committed suicide recently, which was the only heartening or positive thing i could take from the phone call... This got me thinking, Why do these arty types feel the need to express themselves in such ways, before ultimately, taking their sad existence of a life, and leaving a fucked up legacy behind them, and their parents to grieve until they themselves check out!!!...Selfish fucking parasites spring to mind, but never mind my thoughts, on with the blog...

This artist, who's name escapes me just joins a long list of emotional fuck ups, who could not tolerate life, and decided that calling time on a mis- understood existence was clearly the better option, which is fine, more decent oxygen for sane people to breathe, but if they are to rub themselves out, why can they not use that creative genius they possess to do it with style and panache... Michael Hutchins,( inxs front man) David Carradine (kill Bill star).Stephen Gately( boy's own gay crooner).. My next door neighbor, (who loved to paint) and a plethora of others within the entertainment industry who have all left this mortal coil after getting the Weights, angles, and the all important drop zone wrong whilst Beating their man swords furiously, whilst at the same time watching A dog with football socks on,(as not to scratch the participating women/man i believe) confusingly plunder the back door of the man/woman, on a plasma tv in front of them.. .. This is boring guys, and if you are reading this, and are busy checking lengths of rope, checking the delivery date from e bay Holland on your special dvd, and weighing yourselves, stop it already, its tedious, and boring, and we are fed up with finding you hanging in wardrobes, or on beams, with one hand around your Johnson, and the other tied behind your back, with your tongue hanging out... Wanna make a difference and shock the world, then start thinking Van Gogh. wanna be's..

This brings me smartly on to Art itself, and the artists who produce it...They all seem to suffer from the ''Look at me, for fuck sake, understand me, or i'l kill myself brigade!""Well, go ahead, like i said, dont let me hold you up in your quest to reunite yourself with a whole host of movie stars, entertainers, artists,and mis understood genii waiting at the purley gates, or the gates of Hades, who knows, but one things for sure, it will be one ego driven fucked up party thats for sure, with everybody talking, but nobody listening and more cocaine, which seems to be the drug of choice for these lost souls, ( i blame Freud personally, but who cares, right!!) than has been sniffed off Elton Johns husbands arse crack... Which is a fuck load, believe me...

So i may be coming across as a little harsh, and not understanding these delicate little flowers, thats because i don't, and nor do i care to.. Tell me, what is artistic about eating large amounts of gas producing foods, giving yourself a home made colonic with different colored paints, inserting a tube where the sun will never shine, then expelling the contents via forceful propulsion of wind from the anus on to a canvass ?????... Please, someone educate me on why i find this fucking odd??.. and if that particular artist is considering popping his cloggs also, I'll give you a hand, fucking moron!!!!!

Now, before i leave you, will leave you with an ingenious idea on how to immortalize yourself into the annals of history. Start by consuming vast amounts of Chocolate, washed down with your favorite pain killers with a vat of cider.. Attach yourself to a home made device which is based on a centrifugal force type mechanism.. Have a remote control in your mouth which sets the machine in motion, lets say for 5 mins, which should be more than enough time to get the job done, then spit it out once it starts, as it gets faster and faster and you begin to feel nauseous,, the need to throw up will overcome you, but here's the genius part, You can't, you will literally choke to death on your own vomit as the force stops you from expelling matter from your mouth, but as the machine slows down, you will be leaking chocolate and cider all over yourself, which will create in itself a marvelous piece of Art, which will have Damien Hurst wanking into a bath full of formaldehyde, and who knows, he may even buy the piece, stick it in a glass case and and display it for the world to admire and wonder at... He could call it ""DEATH BY CHOCOLATE".. now, thats a way to go!!.. You see, and people tell me i am not creative.

OK Before i leave you, and this time i am going, lets get a little more serious with this whole suicide thing, and why a certain type seem to excel at it. I will use Alexander McQueen as my case study as his death was a relatively short time ago.When one thinks of Alex, which is what i'll call him as not to waste time, we think of wonderful dresses, Kate Moss, like a gazelle gliding down the cat walk in one of his fabulous creations, full of joie de vivre, champagne and adulation being consumed in equal measure, we think of Bling and deeply entrenched success, but when the curtain came down, and we begin to dig around, once again we find that someone we thought had it all, actually tip toed around the edges of depressive darkness and some times fell head first into the abyss. This type of behavior always shocks me to be honest, but coming from a truly loving family the only thing dark i enjoy is chocolate, and laughter consumes my time, with practical jokes being the most sinister thing that can be leveled at me, so i consider myself lucky.

Lucky that happiness is an inside job, and not something which can be bought or acquired from someone else, which is what, funnily enough most of these self help books and manuals have been saying for decades , and i am now believing it more and more..Some will blame evolution and state we are over programmed for self defense, over responsive to any perceived threat in these comparatively safe and privileged times, and that the unlucky depressives spend the majority of their time wallowing around in the reptilian part of the bran, feeling isolated and fearful of everything and anything, however great their circumstances appear to be... As an antidote, we seek out love and relationships to bridge the gap, to find peace in others, or we need others to complete us, which is folly indeed, as the only person who completes you, is you!!..

Alex gave up his right to breathe soon after his own mother died, not by suicide i might add, but of natural causes which is refreshing, But perhaps he found that the show need not go on any further, especially when the audience he craved more than anything else had left him nine days previous..Food for thought i guess....

Anyway, some of the richest guys i know are the most unhappy, and the elitist private school dwellers are in my opinion proper messed up, not all of course, but a great deal of them are full of dark and depressive thoughts..

Right, i am going to place banana skins under the feet of old ladies, sit back and laugh at their mis fortune, so got to run....

ITS BEEN EMOTIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monogamy really is a peace of woods.!!!

2010-03-07T22:30:00.003+04:00

Right then, lets get on with it, and with subject matter sure to raise a few pulses amongst other things which is what gets men into trouble in the first place,We'll crack on

Greetings, T'is Sunday, March 7th..201o...

It's been a while i know, and apologies to those who have e mailed me inquiring about this latest sabbatical i have taken away from my laptop. So, here's hoping this blog will have you purring like the proverbial Cheshire cat, and i will be forgiven and heralded from the roof tops.. (one can but hope)...

No prizes for guessing the nature and subject of todays observation, as the title clearly gives it away, and as for being given away,or caught playing away, i will move smartly on to my thoughts on the whole process of affairs, infidelity, and betrayal.. Did a few of you just move and squirm a little uncomfortably in your designer chairs as you digested that comment!!!!Well, don't, this is not a personal slur or attack, or an attempt to vilify anyone or anybody, just a series of random thoughts and opinions furnished by me, so sit back, put your feet up with a coffee, tea, or beverage of choice and enjoy, Or not, matters not to me either way, as i told you before, popularity contests are not trophy's i seek out, only to deliver my views on the world, and some of its interesting debatable topics which are there to be attacked, and discussed.

Is monogamy actually losing its status as a pre requisite for a happy relationship/marriage etc?, and, is anybody out there actually truly monogamous?What i can safely state is that we are not as monogamous as we once was as a collective species, and here's why, and this is not open for debate.. We may not be having full blown affairs like high profile public figures such as John Terry, Tiger Woods, That midget serial philanderer Ashly Cole, or that once wholesome presenter Vernan Kaye, to name but a few, but Are those extended flirtations we embark on, the serious and not so serious dalliances, special, ostensibly so called platonic lunch dates with people we see more regularly than we'd like our partners to know about considered healthy and normal, and above all within the boundaries of fidelity.? Depends on your definition of fidelity i would presume!

Maybe, maybe not, but we are certainly pushing the envelope and barriers with a whole host of mediums available to each and everyone of us.

Text messages, Face book, Twitter, Bebo, ''sit on myface, or is it space.??)''ETC ETC.. These interfacing mediums have allowed and encouraged us all to explore flirtation, whilst giving us a feeling of protection, almost like a cyber sheath, and as a modern world presents us with numerous ways to cheat, Is betrayal or infidelity the nemesis we think it is?

Does the overly suggestive text to the new girl from the gym mean you are an unfaithful bastard in waiting, well, you certainly would not want your partner reading its ambiguous content, thats for sure, but is that cheating on some kind of level,? does the sexually charged content make you less faithful to your partner than you used to be, before the advent of Texts and the internet made it oh so easy and readily available. Can one take the moral high ground and plausibly claim monogamy when they readily partake in extreme flirting via text messages with a-nother, aside from the partner and exchange content and feelings of such warmth and ambiguous desire, however veiled, or obvious they dress it up??Is this acceptable,in a modern relationship?.

Affairs in my opinion have become the new divorce, and more and more people are embarking on them as a way to rejuvenate the boring, almost failed marriage, or at least prolong it a little longer, you know, where the time spent suffering has reached a reasonable time frame where your Old Catholic Mum, Priest and neighborhood will openly declare ''Well, she tried her best, 9 years is a fair and honest time line, she really tried you know to make it work, and he is hard work you know to live with!!", Whilst for 5 of those years, she was sucking some guy inside out and upside down, and whilst the husband was busy playing with his Racket, the ever doting wife was studying the soles of her feet in the wing mirrors of her lovers car.... Tell you what though, affairs are a face lift and anti depressant all in one, but without the price tag,( well for Women at least) unless of course you are the man who gets caught with his trousers down, which then becomes the most expensive nip and tuck you'l ever have!! Hookers on tap for an eternity will not cost what it will take to pay off the scorned wife, so guys be warned, this affair nonsense is heavily skewed towards lining the pocket of your Wife, who has been screwing the gardener since the new pool went in anyway.. The female empowerment movement has come along way, and gathering pace, but equality when faced with proof of infidelity is still way back in the dark ages..

So Guys ,a word of warning.Its no longer accepted that cheating is a mans domain, and that we are built as a species to do exactly that. No longer can you drag your fair maidens back to the cave, lay them face down in straw and be knee deep in pussy for a couple of hours, before its time to pick the wife up from The gym, where she has spent the afternoon with a couple of mates extolling the skills of her African lover with a cock like a fire hydrant.. Nope siree, the game has well and truly changed.

Statistics relating to cheating are some what misty, as its not the kind of thing people want to admit to, but what is incontestable is that men will overstate numbers and conquests, where women will understate their own indiscretions, but a figure as high as 45% of couples in long term marriages will have or are having affairs, or will be unfaithful at some point which is nice..lol

Logic dictates we are having more affairs than our ancestors, we are presented with ample opportunity to cheat, we work more, travel more with friends, and consequently away from the family home for longer periods of time.This evolving landscape of technology means we are connected sometimes intensely and continuously with many more people than before, and technology has also meant the very definition of infidelity has broadened.

Emotional cheating has become increasingly common place in this modern world, entire affairs are played out online, intense relationships, which may or may not blur the lines of friendship are everywhere,which may flourish via the intimacy of the dreaded text message and embraced as normal, but still played out in relative secrecy, behind locked mobile phones, deleted threads and texts, and password protected files... And yet remain incredibly reverent about and attached to the idea of monogamy, which seems to be a contradiction of the highest order.

En mass as a collective, we are critical of other peoples infidelities and rather sanctimonious, especially when it involves a public figure with a high profile. Look how we raked that black golfer, whose name escapes me right now, Woody, wood pecker, or something like that was stripped of his endorsements for laying the dark pipe pretty much around the globe, with a string of very average females if the the truth be told.. Come on, what was he thinking..These girls, who by all accounts were blessed with a certain set of attributes, a shaven snatch piece, and the ability to suck a large orange through a tight straw, but little else.Did he think he could get away with it indefinitely!!!.. And the Women, who crawled out of the woods work like maggots from a rotten apple had an agenda of their own...Sisters were certainly doing it for themselves, and a girl gotta get paid, right???. Well paid they were, and humiliated the Woodsman was, and we all gloated and pointed the fingers, like a bunch of hyenas, fucking hypocrites we are and just like sheep we act with this herd like mentality, following the majority... But gutless when it comes to opposing the norm, inflicted in to us by the Fascist media machine we pay handsomely to read and glean our daily information from.

We condemn the unfaithful publicly and gossip about them privately, we condemn ourselves when we transgress, and lose ourselves to guilt and suffer identity crises.'' How could we do this, what have i done?" ''This isn't who we are, and what its come to''. Spilt milk, and crying springs to mind once again, you fucking spineless jellyfish.. Take what you want and need, then detach and run and hide..

Why do we live this dichotomized existence? why do we support the idea of monogamy so heartily while not being able to be faithful?. Why do we persist on having affairs, persist in believing the dream when we are not comfortable with or especially capable of either??

Society has lost its way a tad i feel, and although i am all for the empowerment of the female, and the re-addressing of the ying and yang balance which has been heavily tittled towards male dominance for far to long, this new age movement of the female, coinciding with TV exposure of series such as desperate housewives, sex and the city, californication et al, we have traveled way to far up the see-saw and now the balance has been tipped in favor of the gentler sex, although Girls, don't go burning your bra's and removing your panties just yet in a bid for liberation. As i write there are still nine countries where a woman can be killed for being unfaithful, and many more where you will be stoned for as much as getting your teeth stuck on your top lip, which is ironic, as for some of you, thats as close as it gets to a genuine smile..

I am not advocating double standards, far from it, but unless you girls pull the reigns in and start controlling the game and not being the game, then each gender will find themselves awfully confused as to their roles in life and society in general, and if you don't, it wont be long before men, like the honey bee will start to become a redundant life form, as you can choose the sex, and characteristics of your ideal child from a good book. and the turkey baster, and sperm milk shake of your choice will be all you'll need to go it alone, but girls you dont want that, not really..You may think you enjoy controlling proceedings, and evening up the score for the past 2000 years, but underneath, you all still want a man to be a man, to take control, to make you feel safe, to protect and to take you into his cave and smash the back out of you..

Shit, got carried away.. Thats exactly what you are doing, just not with your husband or partner.

Humanity is foooooked...

Oh well, if cant beat them, join them!!!... Now where's my club......................

Until the next time, MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

Resistance is Futile

2010-02-07T05:30:00.004+04:00

Listening to the radio today on my way to Arundel castle with my Beautiful girlfriend, and yes, i do participate in such cultural excursions on occasion, an advert, or i should say a government warning came on which was so insulting, i had to share it with you. I mean, this abused the right to be condescending, and anybody with a modicum of intelligence, with an IQ above that of a bowl of calamari a la romana ,would be crying into their squid.

Greetings my friends, T'IS FEB 07 2010.

Before i explain what made me laugh so, a little back ground info.

We have become throughout the western world, such a molly-cuddled, Politically correct bunch of mind controlled fucking robots, We dare not think outside the box for fear of recrimination from our peers, friends and social order ,which for some reason beyond my logic is so fucking important to the masses or the Sheeple as i love to call them.. We are responsible for allowing this tip toe approach to a totalitarian nanny state we find ourselves facing every waking hour of our soon to be miserable existence unless we say."NO MAS"See Duran v's Leonard

Every day we are forced to accept further intrusions into our civil liberties, and basic freedoms removed, which are our constitutional rights,This is achieved by an array of false flag incidents,(see below in bold type.) 911 for instance was a classic example, or pearl Harbor, Assassinations of World leaders, Renegade lone gunmen running amok in remote outbacks in Shitsville, USA, etc, etc.. I could give you a list of false flag incidents throughout history as long as my man Sword, but wont bore you with them, so just trust me on this, they are all part of the master plan which you see unfolding before your very eyes, at an ever increasing rate of knots on a daily basis, well i must reiterate "before your eyes!" if you was actually awake and not being played like a grand piano, but through classic mis direction tactics, you aint seeing fuck all and alas the majority of the population are indeed in a comatose state which makes this form of mind control and acceptance so easy to install

*(Acts of terror, which are perpetrated by our own governments, then blamed on whoever they want to justify an attack on, whether its an individual, or a country, it matters not, the same transparent Modus Operandi is wheeled out time and again).

So fucking what, Jordon, aka Katie Price has married her cross dressing cage fighter in Vegas, or Posh spice has lost another 3 kilo's and can now slide underneath doors without the need to open them, Or the lord mayor of London wears a toupee, and John Terry has been playing hide the sausage with half the wives of the English national team.. Its banal nonsense and noise, a side show which is rammed down our throats by the gutter press ,and the broad sheets are no better, who just say it with a better choice of vocabulary and angle of attack, and the next generation of soon to be adults are even worse than the adults of today, with their noses stuck in blackberry's, i phones, Nintendo, et al, who can barely read or write at all, with their preferred method of communicating being inaudible street slang, or Text speak, a fucked up bastardized form of The Queens English.. I despair for humanity i really do, and today's ad on the radio epitomized everything which is wrong with today's nanny state.

A government backed campaign which you can find at www.governmentemployedmorons/wecontroleveryaspectofyourpatheticexistence.co.fuckyou.org

is warning car owners not to leave anything valuable on the dash board, or on the seats of your cars, whilst out and about, and to remember to close your windows and sunroof while your at it.. Are you fucking kidding me. Have we become so retarded that we need the government to remind us to do something so natural and autonomous to anyone with a brain cell, they need to run a specialized campaign to get the message across, then we are all fucked... And to those mind numbing idiots who find that type of education enlightening, then you deserve to be robbed blind, every time you go out for a 4 for 1 pizza meal at Domino's, and i know, forgive my social stereotyping again, but its the overweight council flat dwellers in their 15year old Ford escorts, who shop at primark for crushed velor beige tracksuits who leave Their laptops which were stolen in the first place on display, which are then stolen back, probably by a distant family relative, who then sells it back to you once again, and the whole cycle repeats itself, like a high rise council estate groundhog day.. Neanderthal tree dwellers, round them all up and use them for government experiments and find out why they are so fucking fat!!!!I guarantee you, there will not be a single case of under active thyroid among them, just a bunch of greedy Sausage and chip munchers, who have zero discipline, and white dog shit instead of grey matter between the peroxide hair doe's..

So, Mr Brown, Blair. Bush, et al.. I know exactly what you are up to and its my job to spread the word, so if you could leave your car windows open next time to invade an innocent country, I'll pop a leaflet through it explaining your Goose is well and truly cooked, and how your plan for a new world order is being exposed....

Until the next time, MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

Just a little food for thought, and to confuse the religious

2010-02-05T05:50:00.003+04:00

Ok, i concede, this is not a blog as such, more of a debating article which will whip the zealots, bible bashers,Helmet fiddlers, Fundamentalists, ignorant lost souls, et al into a complete frenzy, and demand i be burnt at the nearest stake for extreme blasphemy, but guess what, i don't give a monkeys ring piece what you nut cases think, democracy, even in this veiled form in which we now live affords me the right to express my opinions and views of the world,that is until the Internet police restrict the last bastion of freedom, which is the freedom of speech, so until they do, i will go hard or go home, And its all about being HARD for me..

I always believed that we were spawned from outer space during a cosmic accident, and never bought into the religious view, nor for that matter, the ever evolving Primate to Human, with flaws as large as my Johnson in both stories, so with that in mind, below is is an extract from a prominent Scientist who concurs with what i have just written..... Those with extreme religious beliefs need not bother reading any further, as the Author could do without having a Fatwa Jihad.,Korma, or Vindaloo placed on his head.. I spoke with Sadman Rushtea last week and he told me it gets awfully trying and time consuming wearing wigs, fake moustache's and funny glasses every time he wants to nip down the garage for a family bag of Walkers cheese and onion crisps after an extra large Jamaican Marlboro light at 3 in the morning.So please leave this guy alone, its not like he's depicted a stick of dynamite hanging out of a turban mocking a certain someone, and illustrated from a very cold Scandinavian outpost.. ( answers on a post card please).

Anyway, onto the topic at hand....

Enjoy. t'is the 5th of feb, 2010

greetings from the uk, my temporary retreat.

Prof Chandra Wickramasinghe, of Cardiff University, said new research "overwhelmingly" supported the view that human life started from outside our Earth.

The Astrobiologist said the first "seeds of life" were deposited on our plant from space 3,800m years ago

He claimed microbes from outer space arrived on earth from comets, which then "multiplied and seeded" to form human life.

His said his evidence, published in Cambridge University's International Journal of Astrobiology, showed humans, and all life on Earth, came from aliens brought to the earth by comets hitting the planet.

"Yes, we are all aliens – we share a cosmic ancestry," Prof Wickramasinghe said.

"Each time a new planetary system forms a few surviving microbes find their way into comets.

"These then multiply and seed other planets."

He added: ""We are thus part of a connected chain that extends over a large volume of the cosmos. Evidence is pointing inexorably in this direction."

Prof Wickramasinghe believes life is transferred from planet to planet over billions of years.

He believes comets hit planets and pushed living matter out into space.

He said some survived and got transferred to new planets over a timescale of millions and millions of years.

But he accepts this model still does not explain how life actually began in the first place.

The professor and his late colleague Sir Fred Hoyle championed the so-cllaed "panspermia" theory from the 1960s.

"Evidence from astronomy overwhelmingly supports the view that life did not start on Earth but was seeded from outside," Prof Wickramasinghe said.

"Although we have no definite knowledge how life started in the first place, once started its spread in the cosmos and survival is inevitable.

"As we enter a new decade – the year 2010 – a clear pronouncement of our likely alien ancestry and of the existence of extraterrestrial life on a cosmic scale."

WORKS FOR ME..

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME, MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

All hail Orwell...

2010-02-03T21:07:00.006+04:00

Greetings from a dark and dusky Starbucks in Brighton, and as i sit here with my coffee and cream i reflect on the news headlines which jump from every Daily Rag, and repeated and spewed out mantra like on the Zionist owned media channels across the globe, which has zero to do with the news but everything to do with creating fear, chaos and diversity through which they can propel the new world order and its Orwellian agenda into being.... So lets have a quick look at just a few issues making headline news around the globe this week...

T'is February the 3rd, 2010.

Proposed Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has called for the world to boycott American goods and the U.S. dollar, blaming the United States and other industrialized countries for global warming, according to a new audiotape released Friday from a remote cave supposedly hidden deep within the Pakistan borders, which will allow The True axis of evil of the USA,. GB AND, ISRAEL to murder rape and pillage their way through yet another sovereign nation minding their own fucking business ( they can tell the time on my wrist watch from anywhere in the world via tracking satellites but the man adorned with best bed linen and the second most famous beard on the planet after Santa Claus, they draw a total blank.. And by the way, i have some beautiful beach front property for sale in the Arctic if you believe that shit...

In the tape, broadcast in part on Al-Jazeera television, bin Laden warned of the dangers of climate change and says that the way to stop it is to bring "the wheels of the American economy" to a halt.,( Well, the dissolving of the federal reserve would be the 1st thing i would do, and replace it with a banking system where fractional lending is made illegal and can loan only against their own assets, and every dollar printed would NOT come with a debt and interest attached to it..)...

The dirty Wizard then went on to blame Western industrialized nations for hunger, desertification and floods across the globe, and called for "drastic solutions" to global warming, and "not solutions that partially reduce the effect of climate change."

The above is not a joke, really, and lets set the record straight i do not condone any terrorist cell or movement, but the irony made me sit up and take notice, whether or not you buy into the myth that Good old dustbin Lid laden is responsible for bringing down the twin towers, when Afghanistan's surface to air missiles amounts to nothing more than dog shit being fired out of catapults, which admittedly smells awful, but hardly a worldwide threat to democracy, is your choice, but any half wit with a modicum of intelligence should be able to spot the rudimentary modus operandi of the shadowy hand which controls all it purveys

Anyway It seems that Obama, sorry Osama, (seems when writing about terrorists, i get these two confused) is jockeying for the next Nobel Peace prize. I think the globalist bankers might just give it to him. After all, he has done more for their "New World Order" than any other CIA creation, including Al "Buddhist Monk, you can stick your global footprint up your arsehole"Gore or Bill "Missile Parity, i swear i did not ejaculate anywhere near my secretary's mouth, and i was only removing a piece of broccoli from her teeth with my penis" Clinton. If you thought that the CIA was just toppling foreign governments, guess again. George, "i am a reptilian hybrid lizard, who sacrifices innocent children in satanic rituals" Bush Sr,ran "The Company" (cia) and the election fraud that brought "W", the remarkably stupid off spring ,and brain dead moron who could not debate a second year student into office, had "CIA" written on everything but the "hanging chad" impaired ballot boxes.

So now we see a new "terrorist" tactic being used to shut down manufacturers in the West through new emissions laws, which taxes the very stuff we breathe out ,while coal burning smokestacks are starting to outnumber citizens in the "People's Republic of China". Still,while scientists debate the health benefits of Chinese emissions, our numerous factories will have been converted into Bingo Halls, Crack Houses and vacant land or and buildings which squatters are encouraged to inhabit which all lends itself to conflict and implementation of martial law on the streets, which is all part of the master plan.... I WILL CONCEDE TO BEING A CONSPIRACY THEORIST, IF WHEN WHAT I WRITE COMES TO PASS, YOU WILL ADMIT TO BEING COINCIDENCE THEORISTS...

Talking of Afghanistan, the UK government along with the Kent police, that major worldwide recognized think tank (tongue firmly in cheek).. have decided to spend zillions of tax payers money on unmanned spy drones which will monitor the unsuspecting British public from miles above the earth, spotting rubbish tippers, curb walkers, or men taking a piss behind parked cars after a skin full of Stella on a Friday night, plus having the capabilities of spotting speeders, illegal parking, and anybody who dares to put out their wheely bins on the wrong day, or put a for sale notice in the window of a second car they need to sell, to pay off the fines these fucking spy planes will dish out to the ever suffering motorist and home owner... Why not just kit these drones with a cruise missile or two and just obliterate some poor guy who forgets rubbish day is on a Wednesday..Why don't they actually use these spy planes to keep thieving pikey's from stealing tractors and caravans across the nation, thieving fucking Gypsy's.!!!Now a few well guided missiles would soon send out the right message and believe me, they wouldn't be so keen to hook up to their trailers machinery and luxury goods that doesn't belong to them..

We in the UK are the most watched individuals on the planet ,Fact!! but the only good, or bad, depending which side of the fence you sit , this intrusion into our liberties provides the various councils with information on Home owners who do not declare they have a conservatory, or a patio extension, or heaven forbid an attic converted into a spare bedroom.. And why the fuck do we need spy planes to tell them that.. Our nosey fucking neighbors, who are encouraged to self police each other will have phoned and anonymously tipped them off anyway.. Useless curtain twitches,they deserve the firing squad treatment....

At 5 MILLION a pop, these drones are useless anyway. For the past 8 years, these drones have been hovering over the badlands of Pakistan and Afghanistan and they still cant find Bin Laden having a barbecue with his band of bearded merry men outside his cave of choice... What chance do they have of actually catching a criminal in Kent!!!!!!, But that was never the plan anyway, and the eternal Bogey man is needed to keep the world in fear, and will justify another attack on which ever country good old Osama is allowed to squat in.. Please Ossie, don't for fuck sake think a suite in the burj'al Arab will be a nice place to retire, or our properties will literally be worth dog shit,and Dubai will be levelled as The good ol US ofA replicate a modern day Roman empire and acquire Countries like the Women of Dubai acquire shoes and handbags..

We should all hail Orwell, who foresaw all of this draconian erosion of our liberties, and the constant media spin, propaganda and perpetual mendacity which allows these fucker's to accelerate this dreadful agenda into place... A true genius, and alas unless we all wake up and attain a critical mass and oppose this , a horrid nightmare will be very very real..which will make Hiltlers plans look like a Mormon tea party

You have been warned

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

The art of Tanning

2010-01-05T19:23:00.002+04:00

Greetings from a very cold Brighton, and as I prepare to venture south again, back to my Home in Sunny Dubai, I must share with you an experience I had a few days ago which in hindsight I find amusing.

T’is the 5^th of Jan, 2010 and a happy new year to all of my readers, and to the rest of the world who are in need of love, empathy and consideration, 3 emotions sadly lacking in many individuals who reside on this planet I’m afraid… Not to worry, they will learn in time the difference between real love and the shallow kind which is merely an attachment to form, and the frequency needed to actually understand the difference. Until such a time arises for the emotionally retarded among you, Karma cannot be cheated, nor side stepped which I learn on a daily basis.

I know some of my readers enjoy the occasional spiritual blog I write, and I promise to do more this year, or maybe create another blog site to which I can indulge on that particular subject without boring those who enjoy my sarcasm, satire, and vitriolic humor to which I have become known for.?? Let me know.

Ok, to the story at hand. I decided long ago that I definitely look healthier and more radiant with a sun tan, and the process of vitamin D synthesis which make me feel great, but alas, my genetics were programmed from birth to have the skin tone of Michael Jackson,( later on in years mind, when he decided white was the way forward, and saw the light, literally) which is ironic, bearing in mind his gene pool determined from birth he should be as Black as Obama’s backside.

So I decided I would nip down the road and get a spray tan, and for fans of the series Friends out there, I am sure memories of Ross getting it horribly wrong are still imprinted in the memory banks, and I’m sure that episode has been the bane of spray tanning facilities the world over as assistants are constantly reminded before the individual enters the booth of the ‘’ROSS’’ effect if they get it wrong…YAAAWWWWNNN!!!!...

So, I got ready and went to grab my Ipod head phones from my man drawer in the house, which contains as you know a plethora of items, very idio- synchratic to a male, keys to locks no longer in existence, coins of differing currency’s appertaining to country’s which changed their names many moons ago, and batteries which lost their charge long before the aforementioned countries had even changed their names, but above all, chargers of all shapes and sizes for phones I never owned, and wires of all descriptions which give the impression of being able to charge laptops, kettles, car vacuum cleaners etc. And here is the funny part, it matters not how neat and tidy you wrap these cords of varying description and place them within your man drawer, over night they WILL fornicate and tie themselves into knots and shapes so illustrious, that the great Houdini himself would have taken one look and said’’Na,not for me, a man’s got to know his limitations’’ I kid you not, how the fuck does this happen?... Really, I want a scientific explanation on how the copulation of varying wires and chargers can tie themselves in knots, literally…

Anyway, this time I was in no mood to sit there, Dalai Lama like and hum whale music for an hour as I unravel the fucking things, and I reverted to my reptilian brain complex, brute strength, plus a knife called Stanley, and A bicep 18 inches around, which soon had my head phones free, but alas, my trophy collection of useless wires well and truly butchered and ended up in the bin in a fit of rage.

With my I pod and me in complete harmony, I cycled to the tanning shop and prepared myself to be teak’d like a garden fence and walked in. Greeting me, as always in any tanning salon you care to walk into the world over, are Women usually, whose skin resembles that of the mother in the film ‘’something about Mary’’, and a monotone voice greeting you like they have known you all their tanning lives… ‘’Morning babe, Come for a spray, or a bed darling?’’. ‘’Umm, a spray’’ I reply. ‘’Great, naked or G string babe. ?I would go for the naked love, and Gill here will do you, ( carry- on type laughter erupts for roughly a minute between the girls in the shop as I stand there and pretend to enjoy the comedy gold, NOT!!! Fucking morons, leave the jokes for somebody else., and u concentrate on the job at hand.) She’s not shy, and seen it all before darling, really, you aint got nothing between your legs she aint handled before baby.’’ Comforting I said, but let’s go for the G string shall we so I can keep a modicum of dignity, Plus Gill is circa 108 with skin like a salt water crocodile, and not the most appealing thing to look at, which I guess could be construed as a bonus when stood bullock naked in front of a female. You work it out…

So, the ivory skinned joker gave me these plastic black thongs and told me to go prepare in the booth and shout when I was ready, so in I went and unraveled this garment used, solely by Women I wager, as it had no distinguishing back , or front to them. Now, I used to wear a thong, back in the early 90’s in my Ibiza heyday, so very familiar with how they look and which are the back and consequently the front, but this sucker’s had me confused… I realize for many of my friends reading this blog, for them this would not present a problem, All 3 Rob’s, for starters, and Christian as well, whom by their own admission like to wear their girlfriends/Wives Thongs back to front, which still manages to cover the whole 3 piece suite, but alas, not me, so I had a problem. How the hell do I smuggle my wedding tackle into that small paper package without hanging out the side???... Just as well it was fucking freezing and my nuts disappeared into my stomach like a pre pubescent school boy , and my blood penis had been drained of its life , and I managed to tuck it all in, which I considered a major triumph, and up there with the Sistine chapel paintings if I’m being honest.

I called Gill in and as she stood there admiring me, I made light of the situation and stated’’ Can’t imagine many black guys come here Gill’’, making reference once again to that most basic of social stereotypes, as I looked between my legs and gestured at the size of the loin cloth covering my now very shy fella…. Then made another factual statement to the tune of’’ Come to think of it, why would a black man be coming for a spray tan at all, won’t do him an ounce of good, and a complete waste of money’’. Gill laughed and wheezed like a drain at my observations and proceeded to spray me from head to toe, back and front, 3 times before proclaiming I was done… ‘’Now babe, don’t have a wash for 8 hours, and let yourself dry for 5 mins before getting dressed, alright darling, been my pleasure babe to do you’’, as she wheezed and coughed, stroked laughed her way out of the room..

I Looked in the mirror and indeed I was very tanned, but the female friendly thong had given me a very distinguished tan triangle above my pert, muscular bottom, which is fuck’d up... and the color on my buttocks had turned green, which I looked at with horror. The old witch comforted me with words of wisdom as she replied to my screams of horror, that all would be fine after I took a shower the next morning. Now, I must admit after taking a shower the next day, my incredible hulk impression dissipated and was left with a decent tan, although she failed to tell me my skin would smell like David Beckhams Jock strap for 4 days after, and that my toe nails still look like they enjoy chain smoking 60 Benson and hedges every fucking day, I kid you not.. My feet look like that skeleton pulled from the peat bog who was labeled the missing link in evolution, more like rotting talons, than toe nails, and all in the name of vanity.

So will I be having another one, I ask myself, and the answer is a resounding yes, as I empty my 5th bath since, which resembles a dirty old pond as the smelly tan disappears down the plug hole, but whilst I’m in the UK, I will endure and suffer all that and more not to look like Casper the friendly ghost… We Humans, GO FIGURE…….

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME, ''MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU''

The greatest story ever told..

2009-12-29T04:34:00.004+04:00

And no, its not Goldilocks and the 3 bears, nor Rapunzel, nor snow white, although there is a direct correlation between the above mentioned fairy tales, and this grand daddy of them all( as they Can all be considered one of the same, fictitious work of man)

Nope, the greatest bullshit story ever told, and it makes mince meat out of our folklore favourites and that is RELIGION, in all its disguises, be it Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, Catholicism ,yadda, yadda ,yadda...you name it, i'll discredit it!!

Greetings, T'is the 29th of December 2009, and on my return from a wintry break, and once again celebrating this most pagan of rituals, and zero to do with the death and consequent resurrection of some fella with an impressive beard and an unnatural ability to withstand pain,

thats right, the Christmas story.., Now, i have nothing against Xmas holidays, and enjoy the getting together of family and friends, but i do despise everything about what it apparently stands for,.

Its Bull shit of the highest degree and when it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion, and hence why i will now give an example of why its total nonsense.

Religion easily has the monopoly on the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time,

But and its an important BUT,He loves you. He loves you!!! , and above all He needs your money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, BUT somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit, excuse the pun..Get the fuck outta here..

At this point I want you to know something, and this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is seriously fucked up here.

War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful fat ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.

No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Not giving a shit, from a supposed all knowing omnipotent super being I'm afraid is a luxury he/she/it cannot display, or harbour as a personality trait.. No SIREEEE, you just can't, ok!!!

So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit I immediately, thought of the sun.

Happened like that. Overnight, I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, as it woke me up from my view across the palm island as i had forgot to drop the blinds from another tequila induced full moon party at Atlantis, I became a sun-worshipper.

Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know. So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the ocean, an occasional skin cancer, but hey, If ''THE'' god can allow the daily genocide of many thousands of individuals, who were just unfortunate to be born in the wrong geographical domain, then hey, My god, the sun, can inflict the occasional melanoma, Right???. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.

And the sun, never tells me I'm unworthy. She never tells me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved.

She does not indoctrinate me into believeing I was born a sinner and must attone for my worldy sins until the day i pass over from this mortal coil, from which i will be sent down into the fiery crutch of satans arse hole where i will be defecated on 3 times a day for an indefinite time frame before i will be allowed to take my rightful place alond side my 99 virgins promised to me... Are you fucking kidding me, There are not 99 virgins over the age of 15 left on this fucking planet, Where does the bearded fella find these treasures??.... NO, She Hasn't said an unkind word, and treats me just fine. So, I worship the sun, the Goddess Sun. You will have clearly noticed i have refered to the sun as being feminine, well, If God is Male, and makes the knda mistakes which just cannot go unnoticed, then The sun must be a female for all the good she provides..And you dare to call me a misogynist. Shame on some of you, i love women like you cant imagine, Well, im sure you do actually, but in a platonic, all things equal kinda way, and appreciate the calm and serenity they can bring, i say can,as they can also wreak havoc on the heart and soul whenn it suits them as well, but i'll save that for another Blog.... You know its coming!!!!!

I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, anyway? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job, i wish my husband had a bigger cock, i wish the gardener would notice me stood in the window as i bend over with crutchless pants on, and guess what, most of this praying takes place on Sunday , and that as any good god fearing worshipper knows is his day off, and thats not nice... Give the old fella a rest..Breaking his balls all fucking day long, even on the most holy of days..

The truth is this anyway, if you are a believer, then you Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plans.

And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing...

And on the days you feel your prayers are being answered, great, but what about the next day when he's decided to lay on his favourite cloud, with his ipod blasting out Jay- z & Alicia Keys singing Empire of the state.. What then?, so at best its a 50-50 sucess rate, which ranks him along side a 4 leaf clover, a horseshoe, the wishing well, a witch doctor/Shamen, the mojo man, a voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing a goats testicles..its all the same, so sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself..

And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was, well not the type that religion have you believing.. We are certainly linked by a higher force which i call the energy matrix, which resides deep inside all of us, but dont go fearing this, as its only pure joy and love, and nothing malevolent which will punsih you by removing your limbs for not praying 5 times a day...That i promise you...

Foot note.... Ok, some of you e mailed me asking why i have been writing so much of late, and here's the truth..When i am having emotional issues, i tend to write and submerge myself in creating these little blogs, and its been a particlularly trying time of late, which continues, but hey, at least you get to read my thoughts... So a dilemma for you. Would you rather i am devoid of stress and emotional trauma and you get a very occasional blog, or are you enjoying the multiple entries of late, which puts you in the camp of'' fuck your state of mind Tomas, we want blogs and plenty of them''..

George, you were a true genius..R.I.P

An emotional JT666 SIGNING OFF...

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

Just a quick one today on beloved Dubai.

2009-12-22T22:28:00.003+04:00

As the Worlds press continue to stick the knife into our beloved Dubai, well depending on what type of role you have to play here of course, will depend on how affected, upset you may, or not be.

Of course, if you are one of the many 100's of thousands of menial workers, who get paid dog shit instead of a decent wage, you will be quietly smug, whilst tucking into your slave labour gruel, a la Oliver Twist, as long of course you are actually receiving your packet of dog shit which affords you your sub human existence, in contrast to the over paid western imports, mainly in the construction industry, who sit in their offices, robbing a living whilst spoofing their equally ridiculously paid mates on face book chat.

No wonder Dubai's pants have been pulled down and its arrogant arse well and truly spanked, with astronomical wages being paid to very average workers, who appear to do as little as possible, and why not i guess. Who wouldn't presented with an opportunity like this, fleece a country only to willing to swell your wallet well beyond your capabilities, so more power to your elbow guys and gals, but its a long climb back to the top, which is sad.....

And a Dubai blog wouldn't be a Dubai blog without mentioning out beloved Tribal leader.

You can say what you like about Sheikh Mohammed, bin Rashid, al Maktoum, but you cant say it quickly. In fact, the time it took to write his full title, making sure all capitals are precise an present, Dubai has lost another 5 billion dollars, and by the time the newspapers mention his true title, at least 50 times in any useless article, which runs something like this, ''Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid, al Maktoum, ruler of the universe, deputy ruler of the galaxy, prime minister of all he surveys, deputy ruler of the armed forces, and leader of that once thriving metropolis, Dubai'' i have lost interest in what the reporter is trying to say, and lost another ''fistful of dollars'', which is an interesting metaphor, bearing in mind the majority of state owned companies not look out of place in a spaghetti western along side other cowboys like Clint Eastwood...With Nakheel claiming star billing.

Tried calling them to find out why they had stolen 55000 AED for service charges from my credit card i had not signed for. well, after an hour being redirected from one sharwma house to another, i found myself talking to a snake oil salesman, operating out of a secret office behind a wall in Karama whose first question was'' are you happy sir with your home insurance'', and may i quote you happy.''.. My reply was, ''Damn lucky i don't own a place on your world islands isn't it, How much do you charge for a piece of sand which is eroding quicker than my hair line'' and will ultimately suffer the same fate as Atlantis?.... ummmm, needless to say I achieved fuck all trying to ascertain how they can just steal money and then contest the transaction.. Do you know at the Nakheel main office, the official uniform is a pair of six shooters, a cowboy hat, and a nice Zorro mask and every body in there has the name Dick Turpin stencilled on their backs...

On a positive side mind, The Sheikh has made many people millionaires,more often than not from just ordering name plaques for his houses and palaces, and his business card maker must be quids in , with that massive mouthful,as it must be like one of those giant cheques they hand over at children in need...

May the palm be with you

SOCIAL CONDITIONING

2009-12-18T20:11:00.004+04:00

To quote a good friend from the palm, and you know who you are, this will be 3 from 3, in reference to the amount of blogs I have written on consecutive days, and zilch to do with something very different, and don’t bother asking, it’s a secret.!!!

T’is Friday, December 18, 2009 and welcome once again to the sometimes bizarre, sometimes cruel, but the oh so real world of Johntomas666.

Today’s observation is based on an event which happened to me a few weeks back whilst at a comedy show with a very special person, I noticed, not for the first time I might add, but during the intermission as I sat alone, and no, before you point out,’’ I thought you said you was with someone special?”, Yes I was, and was alone due to the simple fact of a toilet break…. Back on point please!!!.

As I sat alone looking around the room full of people, couples, singles, males, female, she males, hermaphrodites’, (according to recent reports, the middle east has more of these genetic fuck ups than anywhere else in the world, which is a wonderful advert for families interbreeding, You have been warned, brothers and sisters should never be your mother or father!!Not all bad news of course, at least when people tell you to go’’ fuck yourself, you freak, after noticing your gloves have 3 thumbs and 7 fingers on each hand, guess what, you literally can, which must be fun’’). Just for you Nancy..lol

What interested me was that not a single person in that room appeared to be peaceful the moment their respective partners, or friends had gone to the bar, bathroom, make a phone call, whatever, my point is, every single one of them reached for a mobile phone and stared at the thing for a few seconds before forcefully interacting with it, predominantly it appeared texting was the order of the day, and a few were playing games on them from the forced smiles it produced with the phone held up at face level, as a series of bleeps and technological wizardry amused these socially inept individuals.. I apologize again for the broadness of this statement, but really, we live in a world, which has lost the ability to communicate with the spoken word, as gadgetry and the science of progress cocoons humanity in a perpetual comatose state.

My darling nephew, who is a lovely lad is a prime example of why this phenomena bothers me. Every time I see him, I greet him with a standard’’ Hi Jack, how are you young man?”, not asking him to recite a Shakespeare sonnet in response to my greeting, but all I get is an inaudible grunt as he looks up from some mobile device, like a pre pubescent Neanderthal tree dweller, protecting his bunch of banana’s, which is lovely had he been stood in whipsnade zoo at the world of monkey magic, but not trying to engage me with a simple pleasantry.. This incident is replicated en mass across the globe, and hence why cyber sites such as face book, bebo, my space et al have become such a massive success,.

They afford privacy and comfort with the safety net of isolation away from the prying eyes of others who you think are judging or watching you---Idiots, its only me and my kind who do that, not 95% of the population, they are all to busy with blackberry’s, strawberry’s, dingle berry’s or any other type of berry which you can e mail, fax, or text on to be concerned with what you are doing, but we are a nation of self aware ,insecure individuals who are fixated with what others think of us… Fuck them, relax and be yourself, dare to be different and think outside the box for a change, the self policing sheeple ( people who behave like sheep)….will point and exclaim primarily,’’ oooh, don’t go near him, he’s dangerous, or he’s mad, he talks about things which are explosive or negative, his information is dangerous,’’ NOOOO ITS NOT, all information is neutral, it’s what we do with it which makes it positive or negative ,but again, fuck them, you will have broken free from the chains of forced servitude imposed on us through social conditioning and down loaded mind programs we are forced to ingest since birth really, but believe me, there is a another way..

Hold on, this is interesting, across the café where I am writing this, 2 girls are stroking each other’s hands and kissing which is pleasant, but on closer inspection, nope, these girls are the kind who will carpet burn their chins off between a row of hers and hers 15 hole laced up Dr MARTIN army boots, and turned up denim which could do with a wash, pretty much like the 2 girls in front of me.. And nothing like the lipstick wearing modelesque bi curious beauty’s who like to film their exploits on red tube..Work with that Rob..

I’m back .. Face book and the phenomenal success it has become.

I must admit, I am an avid face book user, but I use it to communicate with people across the globe whom I can’t see due to geographical restrictions, which is wonderful, but I awake every fucking morning to a host of notifications from a host of my cyber friends who if I’m honest would rather cross the street than stop and talk, but give them a key board , an empty room to accompany their empty heads and fuck me, they become creative… Today for the 5^th time I was dropped kicked in the chest by a pink sheep, oh yeah, and the same guy also head butted me with a Rottweiler 3 times uuhhh?..Fucking genius!!, answers to me on a postcard please if you can explain the point of it all….

Another girl, well a host of them actually invited me to feed their cyber beaver’s whilst they were out, and then stuff it when they returned.?? a good friend of mine asked me to clean someone’s cyber toilet which if I agreed would get a cyber hand job from Vicky, who I have not seen since she was 14….. Are you getting the picture.. Listen half wits, if you read my blog. then please, stop it already with this and read a fucking book, educate yourself before your remaining brain cells dissolve into a rancid jelly, if they have not already.

If you must indulge, I have a friend who just loves exchanging head butts, sheep’s balls, drop kicks to the kidneys etc etc… www.facebook/user/George/Dubya/Bush/jnr/userid.com. look him up, he’s got plenty of time on his hands now he’s not committing genocide and a host of war crimes..

Must share this last face book faux pas with you before I go to the gym.. I have already explained that I have a host of idiots attacking with me with a variety of farm yard and domesticated animals on a daily basis, but I also have a plethora of invites along the same lines which I decline on a daily basis which I usually do by clicking no to all, but this time I was going through them one by one, declining politely I had no desire to join the Hitler youth rally, nor the group to remove Tony Blair’s right gonad without anesthetic, although I think it’s a damn fine idea, anyway, this day I must have had 20 groups I had no interest in, and was frantically clicking no, and shock horror I missed the no and accepted the ‘’I hate paki’s group’’.. Which if you know anything about face book will now appear on my wall for the whole world to see, which leaves me with this dilemma. Do I leave it there and hope a mass of activity will hide it, or do I take a chance and leave the group, which will again flash up at the top of my wall declaring, Guess what, this racist pig has just left the ‘’I hate Paki’s group””… Face book is more like FUCK YOUR LIFE UP BOOK…for more reasons than you can imagine, but that’s another story

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU.

Why must you lie...

2009-12-17T17:58:00.004+04:00

I know, there has been has zero consistency in the house of Tomas of late, and my ability to write blogs with regularity has dissipated in recent weeks, but I won’t apologize. That’s the price one pay’s for sprinting the first few miles of a marathon, and the prolific word count when I started this thing off has led to this eventuality.. There is only so much a busy man can observe in any given time frame.. Blah blah fucking blah..Anyway, enough excuses and the ink is ready to roll again.

Well, lucky for you guys, here’s another one coming at cha, and the topic Du jour is the Lebanese and Iranians living in Dubai, and deary me, you can’t turn round without bumping into at least one of the aforementioned story tellers.

What is it with these two cultures although polarized in many aspects of history, beliefs and ideology share a common theme in Dubai. ‘’The Barry McGuigan complex’’,( giving it the big’un) which loosely translates into Storytelling, lying, deceiving and self promotion to the detriment of all others, whilst spending copious amounts of money which quite frankly they don’t have at their disposal. Now, I am well aware that is a statement so broad, it makes even my shoulders appear narrow, and I am sure the majority of both nations are a credit to the human race, in fact I know plenty from both countries and indeed they are wonderful people, but for some reason, Dubai, acts like a huge arse hole magnet for them both.

Can somebody tell me, Is there some kind of advert running in the Beirut Bugle, or the Tehran times, appealing for Arse holes only, who have the ability to spend 3 times their salary in a month, drive exotica on phony credit lines afforded to them by our useless banking system, infidelity is a pre-requisite of course, as is mental cruelty to any UN lucky female daft enough to get snared by one of these charmers, and telling the truth about anything personal, or on a work front, strictly forbidden, for fear of exposure, and the collapse of the ego and pride on which this masquerade is built…. One way tickets only though guys, im afarid, unless you sign a pre arranged iron clad contract, which stipulates you must enter an Arse hole quarantine on arrival back in Tehran or Beirut for at least 12years, which is the minimum amount of time one needs to be cured of all of the above and become a normal functioning human being once again..

Well, that application form must be the most successful in the history of application forms, as Dubai is , or should I say, it WAS, full to the brim with these wonderful divot's, until the economic downturn exposed them for what they are, confidence tricksters, and due to our soon to be changed bankruptcy laws, the Sheik Zayed road became a carbon copy of the gumball rally, as crocodile shoes, cowboy hats, jewelry, big cigars, enough hair gel to give Vidal Sassoon a semi on and flashy watches jockeyed for position as they raced towards the airport in an array of hire purchased sports exotica with dear john letters in the glove box and one way tickets back to Arsehole quarantine. Which proves that every cloud indeed contains a silver lining, so celebrate the recession, and smile brightly, that Dubai is once again a safer place to reside, although I hear the locals in Tehran and Beirut are crying into their teeth whitening containers…. Oh well, they do belong to you after all, so suck it up, show some brotherly love for these lost souls, and embrace their return to the mother lands.. A big career in politics awaits them, as they clearly display all the atributes required for a successful career in that field, namely lying, cheating, bragging, deceiving fuck wits.... Tony Blair loves you guys by the way...Wonder why????

Guys, I won’t hold it against you, or think anything less of you if on meeting me on the beach, or in the various coffee shops on the palm or in Dubai, you just exchange small talk and shoot the breeze for 5 Min's, although tedious at times, its far and away a superior way of passing the time than attempting to blow smoke up my Arris with claims you have inside information on the latest wonder stock which is about to announce something major which will triple the share price over night, and promises to call me well in advance before this life changing even takes place… Listen, we both know you know fuck all about fuck all when it comes to inside info, so better leave the ego inflating stories for your fellow Persians who are used to such claims and stories, so therefore wont judge you or write truthful but hurtful blogs, outlining your need to impress with bullshit…. Comprende!!!!!

Until the next time,

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU.

Tiger Tiger, Burning bright.....

2009-12-17T04:55:00.003+04:00

From the title of today's blog, there are no prizes for guessing who's in the firing line, and unless you have been living under a rock for past 3 weeks, one could not escape the carnage which has enveloped the wealthiest sportsman on this planet, and i hear you say, ''Please, no more, we could not give a Michelson's lob wedge how many whores he's been fucking, or strippers, pole dancers, trailer park trash moms, which he seems to be fond of etc he's been sticking his over sized genitalia into''..( i know, social stereotypes abound, but i hear through the golfing grapevine, he has his over sized wood which he swings with great aplomb, that makes Dirk Diggler sit up and take notice).. Anyway, i would like to throw my hat into the ring and give you my own take on Messieurs Tiger Woods, Johntomass stylee...

T'is Thursady, 17th December 2009.......Welcome to my world

First off, why are people so surprised that Tiger has been caught with his trousers down.?

He is a wealthy, scrub that, immensely wealthy guy, influence beyond imagination, power, and a global audience which makes Simon Cowell dance around forest fires like Rumpelstiltskin, cursing his luck.... To accompany this list he is a reasonably attractive guy, well, he seems to be until he removes his Nike baseball cap, and he suddenly resembles a Vietnamese retard.. Not having a pop here, just calling it how i see it, and i will review the variety of bloodlines which makes up the complete woods genome later on in this blog, but for now we'll continue down this road for now...

Ok, with a list of attributes as long as my Johnson, its no wonder girls are queuing up at 19Th holes around the globe with a chance of snaring themselves a big cat, and the chance of a healthy chunk of hush money, which seems to be flying out of Tigers secret numbered accounts to the tune of ZAMBIA'S NATIONAL GDP on a monthly basis, and it would appear this pussy cat really does like his cream. But my point is this, Why are people surprised, he's a man, with opportunity, period.!! Lots of them, like rolling stock on a conveyor belt, a never ending supply of fresh meat to devour.Take a look back through history to see how royalty, political heads of state, whole dynasty's have been taken down by that most prime of all real estates on this planet.. That's right, ladies and germs, where the thighs of both legs are reunited. PUSSY...

That piece of real estate is like kryptonite to the majority of the males on this planet, and has such a magnetic pull, its futile attempting to repel its power..... and the sooner this is recognized in the whole Venus V's Mars conundrum, the less column inches infidelity will consume.

On a lighter note, anyone in golf will know playing the wrong hole is a two shot penalty, so Tiger, the single 3 wood to the side of head was getting off lightly, although playing the wrong hole 11 times and counting who knows whats in store for you....But i'd certainly be trading that escalade in for a full military spec Hummer.

Maybe if you'd changed your name to Cheetah instead of Tiger, she would have been more lenient on you, just a thought... And the irony of Nike's great logo of ''just do it'' surely has not gone unnoticed... Certainly made me smile...

Now what make's Tiger so formidable on the course is a question for the ages, but i have come up with my own view based on his colorfull mix of bloodlines from different countries.

Part Afro American, part white man, part Dutch, and part Vietnamise, and those 4 different races have combined to produce the perfect golfer.

The Afro Amercan, gives him the natural grace and power, the Vietnamese for when he's stuck in the deep rough, jungles, etc which he escapes from quite beautifully, The Dutch, which gives him that laid back, calm temperment, which is essential when under pressure, and the White man in him means he can get on the course in the first place... You see, a perfect combo...

Different races have different genes you see, but often they don't work out for the best,For example.

I knew this fella, whose dad was a pygmy, and his mother was French, A brilliant cook, but alas could not reach the stove.

Another man i knew, his father was Russian, and his mum a Swiss Arab, and i used to see him walking ten yards behind his old dad with a dish dash on drinking vodka out of a cuckoo clock..

Last but not least.

Another man i knew, who's Mum was French and his Dad was french..He was a CUNT.!!!

On that note, i will bid you Good night, and Tiger, if i was you I'd have my Lawyers going over that pre-nup... Could turn out to be the most expensive Fuck in the history of Fuck ups..

May the palm be with you.....

The puppet king could be in trouble..

2009-11-04T20:09:00.004+04:00

Greetings, and welcome once again to my world of controversy and at times, conspiracy, and today, the latter will be my food for thought, so not to much to laugh at here, but something for those who value my opinions to ponder over and maybe, just maybe spread the word, which in turn may jolt us from the apathy which the Illuminati depends on to succeed in their vision for an Orwellian nightmare,with consequences unfathomable to the future freedoms and happiness of this planet.

T'is Wednesday, 4th of November.

Anyone familiar with my blogs will understand my feelings towards Obama, and Western government leaders full stop, and how they all dance to the tune of the shadowy hand, unseen and unknown to the masses, but to a growing population becoming very transparent, and rapidly loosing their ability to stay covert..Anyway, as we all know the World has been teetering on the edge of financial ruin, and was rescued by those lovely guys over at the federal reserve who just decided to crank up the printing press, or more to the point, just added a series of zero's to a series of computer screens, and hey presto, we are all saved,( Rudimentary i know, but no real need to elaborate at this point)... Cheers, and drum roll pleaseeee...

To . The Rothschild dynasty, The Rockerfella's, Warburgs et al, who are the real owners of the Fed, and not the US Government which the majority of the World believe,( for those of a dis believing nature, please read ''the creature of Jekyll Island for a clear and concise explanation of the Feds conception)..l and this brings me on to today's observation, and its not pretty at all...Please remember, this is my Opinion, and feel free to oppose it, but may i say, i have been studying secret society's and the rulers of our planet, and by that i mean, the real rulers and not the all dancing , all lying fuck wits we have to listen to daily on sky, fox and cnn...Which include Obama, Brown, Blair, Clinton and a host of others....

As for Obama i am genuinely fearful for his safety, and here's why.

The Illuminati assassinate people like Kennedy and Lincoln, men who go against their agenda.Men who decided that interest added to every dollar produced by the fed had to stop, and wanted to issue interest free loans to the people who really needed it, but alas, I am afraid that type of insolence does not go unpunished, and usually results in a patsy being set up to take the blame for shooting in the head the unfortunates who will not play ball...

Those that act as their willing pawns get expendable doubles. It would be bad for business if a bullet was the only reward for a lifetime of service. Not much of a retirement gift at all (personally, I would prefer the gold watch).Which raises the question, why would an organization that despises the Black race and encouraged the decimation of the entire continent of Africa through a manufactured virus, internecine warfare and mass starvation want a Black President in the first place? Black people get abortion clinics and birth control, not the Presidency.The Illuminati believe that Blacks are the lowest inferior race. They founded the "Eugenics" movement to eliminate inferior races and manufacture a Master Race.

Their program has been followed in Asia, Africa, Europe and the Western World. These people are Gnostic's. Gnosticism is the belief that a man can only be perfected through multiple reincarnations that burn out the physical elements of fire, water, earth and air. The Illuminati believe that skin color and other physical characteristics define where you are on this "road to perfection". Ether (Aether) is Plato's 5th element. It is best defined as pure intelligence, free from the elements mentioned previously. Through multiple reincarnations, the ether in a man is ultimately separated from these elements and can finally be merged into "The One" (Star Wars called it the Force). The "One" according to the Illuminati, is Lucifer.Black people, according to the Illuminati, are just getting started on the road to perfection. By killing them off, the psychopaths believe they can be reincarnated with a higher Aether Content. The Aryan Race is the final step we all must pass through before we can achieve perfection (according to Luciferians) and merge with "The One".So, again I would ask, why would an individual that the Illuminati believe to be from the least developed race, get their support and be elected to the Highest Office in the Land?I believe, Obama was promoted for one reason:

To be the Satanic "Sacrifice" that would start a race war between Blacks and Whites and for those who know me personally, i have highlighted this risk over and over.The mass murder and martial law that results will turn us all into cheap slave labor or "future" Aryans.

I envision the following scenario developing if indeed poor old Barack gets whacked.

1. As the result of a deteriorating economy, high unemployment and lack of opportunities, large strikes and civil unrest disrupt the City of Chicago. I pick Chicago because it is Obama's "home turf". This disruption will be fueled by Illuminati Provocateurs that work the mobs.

2. Obama visits the area. He agrees to personally address the crowd and travels a parade route through downtown Chicago. Only, it isn't the real Obama, its his "skinny body double".

3. A shot (shots) breaks out from a window(s) in one of the cities skyscrapers. Obama's double has been assassinated.

4. Instead of quelling the violence, the effect of the assassination is that black vs. white riots break out City-wide

.5. From Chicago they spread to other cities, until every major urban area is in flames and engulfed in riots where upon martial law will be declared and F.E.M.A under emergency rule will take the streets to quell the unease, and dissenters will be arrested and thrown into military styled detention camps, already built and in place..Don't think this is what they have planned? They have played this card before:

1. Martin Luther King: His assassination led to the very same type of riots described above.

2. Rodney King: Los Angeles Riots.Yes, the Illuminati know how to incite large groups of the population one against the other. Its what they do to accomplish their goals. Past performance is a good indicator of future events. I am relatively certain that the above scenario is in the works. Hopefully, if enough people are made aware of the possibility, the psychopaths that plot and scheme will have to come up with something else to accomplish their designs..

As for Jhntomas666, i promise i will be writing a comical view on the Iranians and Lebanese and what roll they play in Our lovely city of Dubai..... Coming soon to a computer screen near you.

MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU

Supermarket Nuances

2009-10-04T23:56:00.004+04:00

The Vitruvian man.!!

Greetings one and all, and especially to Geraldine from Chile, who really is my biggest fan, so this ones for you from Dubai to Santiago.

T'is Sunday, the 4th of October, 2009.

Sitting on my sofa this evening watching the football, my mind wandered from here to there, and back to here again, and somewhere in between, a selection of random thoughts came into my mind, so i will share them with you.

1st up are Supermarkets, and the strange behavior that humans display whilst shopping there, or for those unfortunate enough to be employed by one of these giants, working there, and i am not claiming any superiority here, just because i have acquired a certain set of skills in life and been blessed with a mercurial brain, which has enabled me to buy a few objects of high material value does not make me any better or superior to the lowly check out girl, or toilet attendant who takes great pride in scrubbing the pebble dash from under the rim after some fat Arab has almost broken the pan with the whole world falling out of his arse hole. We are all equals in my eyes, its just that our warped society has yet to realize or understand it. Anyway, will leave that for another blog.....

Was watching how men who shop in my local Carrefour in the Dubai mall refuse to get a trolley, and tell their spouses, partners, lovers in a macho way, ''Don't worry love about the trolley, we wont be getting much, this hand basket will be fine, i'll carry it darling, leave this to me'', they then proceed to fill the basket with rubbish before the 1st aisle is walked, and the funny bit is, the heavier it gets, the further up the arm the basket goes, until its sat in the crease of the bicep and the cool machismo has turned into a beading forehead, and a burn in the bicep which you could not achieve with a 100 curls..I swear, look out for it next time you are there,and equally as funny, at the check out, all the men are kicking the full to the brim baskets along the floor and complaining about how slow the cue is moving.Moron's, listen to your better and more equipped better half, they have been doing this shit for years, and know these shopping pearls of wisdom..

And before i leave this supermarket theme, two more observations whilst i was in there, and the first was the attendant pulling a cage full of goods and produce along the floor, which i was refilling the aisles with, whilst grunting and weezing, like a gorilla having an asthma attack, and could not help but think, this guy belongs in that cage,with the top firmly shut, poor guy, it appeared that evolution had just passed this missing link right on by.. But i am no better than him either..(lol)

Last but no means least was the sight, and this is more common in the UK than Dubai, of single parent Women shopping with their illegitimate offspring sat in their Mclaren/fisher price/ push chairs, and here's the mental part, with at least a fortnights shopping hanging off the back of the thing. I swear, come on, you've seen this a million times, and the really funny thing is, as long as you are not stood behind these delinquents in the cue, the child jumps up and runs off, and crash bang wallop, the chair tips up, and milk, eggs, toilet rolls, potatoes, fruit, and all, crashes to the floor.

What ever happened to the child, mother understanding of the see saw, and that the child is the opposing force which keeps this mobile shopping device on all 4 wheels.. Again, these people should be working in Divit's R us, with the brains of a rocking chair nestled somewhere underneath the peroxide rats maze of a hair do...

And the checkout girls are not budding Stephen Hawking's either. They just love to comment on the food you have bought as they scan it. '' oooh, treacle pudding, i love that, so yummy isn't it, so much treacle''.. umm yep, sure has Einstein, and ''ooohhhh cottage pie, with real pieces of cottage in there''.. Sure thing, pieces of wall and roof and floor board..Cottage is not a food source you fucking retard, and stop giving me a running commentary of everything i have bought.. Thank fuck i did not buy any condoms or tampons that day..!!!!

On the beach last week with my Girlfriend and a host of my Dubai beach mates, one of the gang said to her, ''Hey, is your man always like this, making fun of people and laughing and joking and being the comedian".. Of course i am, thats who i am, i make people laugh, well, and cry at times( you know who you are, and i'm sorry)..

Would you ask a brain surgeons wife the same question.

''Is he like that at home''.. Oh yes he is, he is always flicking the top of my head off whilst im trying to watch countdown, its fucking murder it is.. You see, mental people asking daft questions.. The world is full of non thinking entity's, and if you are one of them, that last statement has gone right over your little heads..lol.

Is it just my girlfriend or is it all women give off so much heat in bed, and what a menopausal one must be like, i cant imagine, like sharing a bed with Satan, and thats just the fucking mood swings before they sleep..and before they even start to do their best impression of a large radiator.

Thats why every home i will ever own will have a spare double bed always prepared for me to jump into if my partner starts to catch fire during the night.I swear last night even the hot water bottle was screaming at me to open the fucking window.. I so much prefer to sleep alone, and some of my friends say im selfish , or they say, Does Guna get upset when you leave her in the middle of the night...

Listen, i sleep like Da Vinci's Vitruvian man, and for those who are not that smart, or well read, i have put a picture up at the start , so now you can get a mental picture of me when i'm sleeping, so i'm doing it for her as well as me. And to be honest, i don't care what people think, humanity is held in a constant state of fear and anxiety because we are consumed with what others think or have, Not me, i could not give a Vegans fart... I sleep that way, because its life's chief nourishment, and without it i'm as cranky as pre- menstruating Margaret Thatcher, and that my friends, is not pleasant at all...So, Guna turn out the light in my bedroom AS YOU PASS IT ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR OWN PLEASE....

GOODNIGHT ALL, AND MAY THE PALM BE WITH YOU